Today, I saw my 3rd turtle- and first turtle up close. The little guy was halfway across our baking hot driveway when my Dad spotted him from the window. Since I have a friend coming over later today (hopefully), I automatically went out on the driveway to check the turtle out. It turned out to be a painter turtle, probably of about 3-4 years of age if I had to guess. It seemed very confused when I attempted to pick it up, and tried to claw itself away from me. Oh well- it's wild anyway.
The turtle then proceeded to LITERALLY SCUTTLE itself under my grandmother's car. Normally, this wouldn't have been a problem- and it was very understandable, since the concrete underneath my grandma's car was far cooler than the hot surface that had been cooking in the sun. The only problem with this was the fact that my grandma was JUST leaving to go to the grocery store before my friend arrived- leaving me a grand total of 3 minutes to find a way to get the turtle out from under the car. My first method was to tickle its backside until it crawled out to escape. Instead of doing what I wanted, however, the turtle chose to take refuge behind the left back tire of the car, pushing itself against it so we couldn't successfully pick him up. On to the next method! I took a long branch from a tree in the yard and tried poking the turtle to get it to move. This seemed to work... for a short while. It only worked until the turtle reached the tire on the opposite side of the car... then he proceeded to do the same thing he had done last time. This was getting nowhere, and now my grandma was outside telling me to get the turtle out NOW so she could go to the store. Finally, I took a broom and was able to shove the turtle out just far enough where I could pick him up. While he put up quite a fight, I got him up, out of the way of the car and out into the yard near the wild strawberries that he had presumably been trying to get to (since that's what turtles enjoy eating). Now, he's happy, safe, and hopefully digging a burrow for himself near the edge of the woods. So that's how my day is going... how's yours? Maddie
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You little rebel! I like that. Okay, so today is going to be quote day. I snagged the headline off of a quote site, as well as the quotes below, which I will elaborate on a bit. I like to read quotes. Many can give you a little nugget of inspiration without having to read an entire book. But, quotes are worth nothing if you don't man up and act on them...or at a minimum at least give them some thought. Not all quotes can be acted upon, but they can all be thought about. Below, are the ones that I thought about.
"Be the person you needed when you were younger." This was an anonymous quote that made me stop and think. In a way, isn't this great advice? Think about what type of person would have helped you the most when you were younger and then try to be that person for someone else in your life. The problem is, that most people won't take that thinking far enough. For example, looking back at my childhood I knew a lot of people who had positive traits, yet that didn't stop me from doing what I wanted to do in a negative way. Just knowing people with those traits isn't enough. Time with those people is what is truly necessary. Time to interact with them on a one on one basis while doing things together. Being able to talk to them about anything and everything would have helped as well. The problem is that no one knows what will help you, unless you tell them. I am much different than many of the people I knew when I was younger. I am much different than I was when I was younger. I consciously try to be a good role model for my daughters and for other young people I meet. I cannot be the person I needed when I was younger for everybody...but I can try to be that person for my daughters and their friends...particularly my daughters. Changing the world is a monumental task. But it can only be accomplished one person at a time. "Be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody." This quote is really just a reminder to treat people as you yourself would like to be treated. Everybody likes to be recognized, and everybody likes a kind word. Smile, and chit chat with the people you meet. Point out the positives that surround you. While we may not be able to find something positive to say about everyone we meet, pointing out something positive about where you both are oftentimes can perk someone up just as well. Finally, actually listening to what they have to say, and not interrupting them is likely the best thing you can do in some cases. A moment to listen to someone's hopes, dreams or troubles can sometimes do wonders for their soul, and yours as well! "In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take." On reflection, this is only partially true. I admit that when I have broken away from my usual behavior, good things have happened. But this isn't always the case. Sometimes the chances we take can hurt us as well. For me, taking the chance to grab my wife's hand one fateful night in July was one of the best things that I ever did. Starting my own business was another chance that I took that worked out very well. Still, there are other chances I took that did not work out so well. Do I regret them? One or two I do. Still, I think people have to take chances to move forward. The chances you take have to be well thought out though, otherwise you can create havoc rather than wonder. The final quote I want to chat about today ties in with the one above. "Don't wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect." This one really is true, in my opinion. You can wait for the perfect time to do something, and find a thousand reasons for why the time isn't right. Instead, take a small step in the direction you want to go even if everything isn't perfect. Just make sure the steps you take won't put your life in jeopardy. Stepping in front of a speeding train because you want to cross the tracks would be stupid. But looking both ways before you go to cross the tracks would be a good first step in getting to the other side. Remember, if you are going to make the moment perfect, you don't want to skip any of the steps that will make it so! When I grabbed my wife's hand, the timing wasn't perfect, but my heart spoke and I listened. And that made all the difference. Every night my Daddy and I play . We play a lot! Sometimes we play with legos, and
sometimes we play Wizard 101. We even play dolls! I like to play with my Daddy. Ashleigh Last night, I had a pretty deep conversation with one of my friends. She and I met a few months ago through a mutual friend of ours, and we have gotten along really well. Last night, we decided to open up to each other a bit about our pasts and who we were, etc. etc. She knew my mom had passed, but she didn't know when or how. So, after talking a bit about music, she finally sprung those two questions at me. I explained the situation to her so she would know and understand about why I am like I am (against drugs, alcohol and smoking) and after, she sent me a rather touching message that made me feel good:
"You're amazing... like.. if my mom passed... I wouldn't be able to function anymore.. and I want to say.. that the fact that you're so strong.. is amazing." Hearing that kind of stuff really helps me... because in reality, I may act strong, but I do get depressed about my mom's death at times. Most times I keep my chin up, but like everyone else on Earth... I get bad days and I break down a little bit. Usually it isn't too bad, it just isn't pleasant. So when I hear something like that... it makes me feel better. She then asked me about my Dad. Granted, I barely bring up my family in conversations with my friends, so it's understandable she didn't know... but I guess she didn't know how close I am to my Dad. I sent her the following as a response: "He's good :3 He's one of my favorite people in the world and I love him so much <3 No drugs/alcohol/smoking for him, he gave up booze to help my mom... he's also been raising my little sister and I for 5 years now and homeschooling us both and he's legit the most supportive person I know and just... he's an awesome dad :3" There's so much more I could have said about my Dad too, but doing so would take me forever. He is one of the best people in my life and I love him more than anything... like my friend said she wouldn't be able to function without her mother, I would not be able to function without my Dad. I love him very much, and I always will, even if we have our fights every now and again. I know I'm not the best daughter I can be all of the time... but I try. Since this is the last day I can really write a post like this, I just wanted to say THANK YOU DAD. Thank you for always standing up for me for being by my side through everything for teaching me all that I know for giving me loving and wise advice for talking to me when I need it for comforting me when I'm upset for singing to me when I was little for playing with me every night for the daily hugs for teaching me how to smile, laugh and have fun for all the corny "Dad" jokes for Mississippi Hunting for all the stories you created for me for teaching me that its ok to be myself for taking karate with me for encouraging me to strive for my goals for supporting me in everything I may try to do for driving me everywhere for making hard choices in better light of me and my sister for encouraging me to blog for teaching me to fish for canoeing, hiking, swimming and fishing with me for our Maddie and Daddy days for listening to my drama for taking time out of your day for me for choosing blood before money for sacrificing everything you loved for me and my sister for the playful teasing for the embarrassing moments for letting me be myself, even when you sometimes disagree with me for keeping me on the right track for all you've done for the family for teaching me to appreciate the little things for teaching me that being yourself is more important than what other people think of you and for simply being my Dad and making me who I am right now.... Thank you. I love you so much. Happy Father's Day. Maddie Today, I listened to the song "Never Too Late" by Three Days Grace... I believe my Dad has blogged about this before, but I wanted to just put in my two cents on this song AND the topic it discusses. The song in and of itself revolves around trying to talk someone out of suicide, if you listen to the lyrics properly. I find it strange, to be honest... once someone has committed suicide... it is too late. That's it. They've chosen to end their life, and it is over. I'm not trying to be pessimistic.. but it's the truth. There is no good way to look upon something like that.
Yes, you may have memories of the person and items that belonged to them, but you do not have the person and it is not the same. When the person makes that choice... it is too late. For them, at least. However, it is NOT too late for you. Some people get devastated over the death of a loved one... and I realize that it is tough to get over or understand at first. This happens to everyone; sadly, some of us let the death of another infect our own lives. I have friends on one end of the scale who say they could give a shit if ANYONE died and that they wouldn't care either way, and other friends who get so traumatized by death that they turn to depression and even suicidal thoughts of their own to cope. The point of this post is that we are all caught up in the great circle of life- we are born, we live our allotted amount of time out, and we die. It happens to everyone inevitably, one way or another. Some of us may feel that people are given too little time on Earth... but we all have an unset timer. When we die, we die. Yes, poor decisions may force that timer to run out faster, but we all die anyway. The younger the person, the more tragic the death may seem because it will seem unfair that they did not have as long a life as they should have, and it is even more tragic if the death is due to an illness that is uncontrollable. However: you should not let the death of another.. no matter how close to you... affect your life to the point that you yourself want to die. Nothing should cause that... ever. Yes, mourn their loss and grieve... but don't take death too hard. It happens to everyone, and it will continue to happen. At the end of your life, most of the people you knew and loved will have died too; and then you will die. The best thing you can do is pick your head up, shake off the bad feelings, and continue to live your life... just like everyone else. Maddie I am learning to read books. I like books. They help me to learn to read. Some books
have information, and some have stories. I like the books with stories! Ashleigh It's hard to be happy when you are indifferent. You may be wondering, "who was the Einstein who came up with that quote?" Well, it was me! Ever hear anyone say "I don't care" about nearly everything? That's a person who clearly isn't happy and is giving themselves little chance of being happy. Happiness comes from passion. It doesn't have to be passion about a particular person, but just passion in general. In my house, many of us believe it is best to find happiness in the little things, because big things happen infrequently and it is better to find happiness more often than less. You may ask, "but if you are unhappy, how can you find happiness in little things?" The answer to that is to have passion! Get excited about what you are doing, or what you have to do that's in front of you. Develop a sense of excitement about everything you do...and with everyone you do them with. Have you ever been around someone who is truly excited about what they are doing? It's contagious isn't it? I love when someone is excited about what we are doing. It fuels my own excitement. Meanwhile, how do you feel when someone you are with sits around bored with your presence and buries their nose in their phone all day? Why bother to spend your time with them? They obviously don't care if you are there or not. In fact, they become a burden to you, since you feel you always need to compete with their phone for their attention. Who needs that! Do you want to develop passion? Then shut off the electronics and actually spend time with the people who want to hang out with you AND are willing to make the effort to do it. It is easy to listen to idiots who say "Family isn't always blood. It's the ppl in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE." Phonies want you to believe this so that they can continue to just talk to you over Facebook and never have to really deal with you or your wants. It is so much easier for them to just send out a general twitter to all or post a comment to make you feel like they are there for you. My suggestion: Send that person a PM back and tell them you would really like to hang out with them. See what kind of answer they give you. I bet it will look something like this: Same thing for people you meet online that you never meet in person. It is easy to say "I'll be there for you" when they have never even met you. Try to set up a get together with them. Those who are "true friends will find the time to meet with you. Even if it may be a little difficult. They may invite you out to an event too. Be open to it! Those who won't meet with you no matter how many times you ask, are not your friends. Those that try to get together with you are.
With that said, don't be fooled because a band puts up a stupid quote and wants you to feel at one with them. Don't be fooled by people who say they will always be there for you, when they have never even tried to hang out. Instead, develop passion for the things that you do and your plans and see who will join you. Passion drives happiness. Not just for you, but for those around you who choose to see the world the way you do. Don't despair! Don't be indifferent! There is a whole world around you, And plenty of people to share it with. Develop a passion! Be open about it, and see who wants to join you in happiness. Remember, it's the little things that will drive your happiness...But it can also help to drive happiness in the people around you. I like to play Wizard 101. I have a large house on the game and I like to decorate it.
I also like to tend the garden. Last night a friend stopped over my house. I like d to show her around. Ashleigh Ever notice how perceptions can vary vastly between two people or more? A good example happened yesterday between me and my daughter Maddie. Her opinions about someone we both know well was vastly different than mine. Usually Maddie and I see eye to eye on many things, so I wondered what could have happened to make her perceptions of that person differ so much from mine?
I find the person in question to be kindhearted and giving, with a penchant to make sure that everyone around them is comfortable and doing their best. Sometimes overzealous, they can, on occasion, get on your nerves if your opinion about what is or isn't acceptable differs from their own. Overall, I find the person's shortcomings to be dwarfed by their good qualities. It ends up that my daughter had recently had an argument with that person, where some of her own shortcomings had been pointed out to her.This jaded her view of the person's motivations and caused her to have negative feelings towards them. Were Maddie's feelings justified? Yes.Did this make her perceptions correct? No. Her perceptions of the person's motivations were being influenced by the argument she had just had with the person. I always try to teach my daughters to treat others as they themselves would like to be treated. Unfortunately, this doesn't work well, if the other person does not also follow this rule.Sometimes, this leads to treating the other as they are treating you at that moment. Both of you may feel bad about it later. Still, we shouldn't let our feelings for that person at that moment deceive our perceptions about the person's true motives. Some times frustrations lead us to act in ways that are not always appreciated by another. Instead of lashing back at the person that has hurt you in a way that is public and cannot be easily defended against by the other, approaching that person directly and talking through your feelings once both of you have calmed down may be a better answer. We all have perceptions, both true and false. Sometimes, we may need to examine our own motivations to see which of our perceptions are really true. Today as I scrolled through Facebook, I came across an interesting post that one of my aunts had shared. I found it to be very true and also good advice for many, and I'd like to share it here.
"A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything." Remember to put the glass down." I think this is great. It's an awesome metaphor... and it gives good advice that I think a lot of my friends should follow (hence why I tagged about 15 of them in the comments of the post). Too often, we stress out over the smallest things... and then let the small problems build up and lead into big problems. Big problems tend to cause even more stress, which can lead to longer lasting problems such as depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, migraines and even premature heart attacks. For example... my grandma lets herself get worked up over small and insignificant things. If I leave one piece of laundry on the floor of my room, she flips. If the house doesn't get vacuumed to her standards every week, she gets into a bad mood. These things are so small and so easily fixed, yet she lets them determine her mood for the rest of the day. I often say to pay attention to the little things in life... but I don't mean the little things to make you miserable! If you set large things as what determines if you are happy or not, you are going to lead a sad life. In the end, it all winds down to you and the choices you make. You can wake up in the morning every day and choose to be happy, or choose to be grumpy... which do you choose? I am happy... and I am also happy with my choice. Maddie Today, I wanted to be able to relate to something.... and since lately I've been making more friends, I wanted to put up some quotes about friendship because lets be honest- who doesn't love quotes?
I like looking at eyes. Some are brown, some are green, and some are blue. People
move their eyes, and people wink and blink. People need their eyes to see! Ashleigh I read an interesting quote this morning. It said: " I think as you grow older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can't be bought." I find this statement is very true. I always have a tough time when people ask me what I want for Christmas. I have everything I really want already. What I want, can't be given easily.
So what do I want? Happiness for my girls. Time to spend more time with them. Answers to their questions, so that I can help them make wise decisions for themselves. I want my little day to day aches and pains to go away and for all the people I know to be healthy. I want to stop wasting time and instead focus on what really matters. These are all gifts that can't really be given. Some of them, I may be able to accomplish, but no one can really give them to me. So what can people give me for Christmas that I would really appreciate? If you know me well, a hug and a smile is always appreciated. Some time to grab a cup of coffee or to just sit and chat is also nice. An activity to do together to create some new pleasant memories would also be cherished. So am I eschewing material things? No. I am sure there are things that I could actually use. I am just not sure what they are. My house is filled with stuff. If I got rid of 75% of it, I'd likely be happier. I am nearly fifty now. I enjoy my comfy couch in the living room, although I don't take the time to sit in it very much. My bed is useful for the 5 hours I sleep in it each night. I use both of my desks a lot, and my car sees some use each week. My computer and kitchen table are also useful. Yes, I wear clothes every day (although I have a tendency to wear the same five or so t shirts over and over again as well as the same five or so pairs of jeans). So where am I going with this? I don't know. I guess what I am trying to say is that my material wants are few, and that the above quote is true. What I really want is for the people I love to be happy...and that true happiness can't be bought. It might be found for a little while here and there, but it is elusive. And with that, my mom has just brought me a cup of coffee and I am going to end this post with the realization that a moment of happiness can occasionally come in a mug! I play with Luck a lot! I walk him on his leash, and we sometimes play tug of war.He
usually wins! I love my dog. Ashleigh Here is a great quote. I have no clue who said this one. It was in the comments section of a website I like to read. "If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done." This is so true. Why would you think that anything in your life will change if you keep doing the same things with the same people? Here is a good example. Last year, I had a number of friends come down to my house to go fishing. They had never been down to my house in New Hampshire before, so it was something new (although this was a group of guys I have been fishing with for years). While we were fishing, one of my friends casually mentioned that his company was now allowing analysts to work from home. Given I had worked for that company once before, I was very interested in this new development. To make a long story short, I gave him a resume to hand in and two weeks later I had a new job.
Would I have found that opportunity if I didn't invite some friends over to go fishing? Probably not. Although these guys are all close friends, we only see each other maybe once a year tops. We all try to get together at least once a year to go fishing, but it doesn't always work out that way. We all have families and live in different states. By changing my usual routine, I was able to get a job that I otherwise wouldn't of known about. It works out perfectly for me too, since now I get to work from home, while still getting to take care of home school my daughters. There are other instance where I changed my usual habits and ended up the better for it. The first night my wife and I started dating was another example of it. I grabbed her hand, before I even thought that she might like me back and we started dating that evening. Amazing! It really is amazing that nearly every time I have changed my routine, something good has happened. Can something bad happen too? Yes. If you are going to make changes, try to think them out in advance and make any change that you make a positive one. By making a positive change, rather than a negative one, you are more likely to see a positive impact. So do you want something in your life that you have never had before? Then find something that you can do that is different that can positively influence the outcome you want. Today, my Dad and I took a long trip to Manchester and on the way had a very... detailed talk about making choices. I love the fact that I can talk to him openly about everything, and he will give me good advice and tips. Our talk today was enlightening, but for the sake of privacy I'd rather not add insight to it. Instead, I've found 3 quotes that pertain to what we were talking about that I find quite inspiring and I'd like to share them with you.
I like balloons! They blow around in the wind. I have to hold onto their strings tight so
they don't blow away. My favorites are green balloons. Ashleigh Today, my best friend of 7 years graduated middle school... meaning next year, she's going to be in her first year of high school. Now, this isn't anything too new for me; I have many friends who are already in high school and I get along with them fine if not better than people my own age. However, this was different for me... I have known this girl since we were both little and we have essentially grown up together. It's crazy how fast time moves... it seems that just yesterday she and I were 7 and 8 year olds running around on the dojo mat after karate class.
We've been through a lot together... we've supported and celebrated with each other during our best moments, and cried on each others' shoulders during our darker periods. Through it all, we've had our arguments but they've only brought us closer together as friends. I am proud to call her my best friend and I am so happy for her. In another four years, it'll be high school graduation... and after that, hopefully college for both of us. This graduation was also a farewell to St. Patrick's school, which is closing tomorrow... my friends (Sarina, Nicky, and Alena) were the last graduating class from the school. So in a way... this post, while short, is a goodbye to the school and also a congratulations to them. I'm gonna end this here, because I don't have much else to say... just congrats and also thank you for staying my best friend and one of my closest companions for all this time <3 Maddie Change is like a glacier...it moves slowly! Here we are halfway through June already and I am still working on the same projects as I was in January.
The book of my wife's poetry is almost complete, but it has been moving forward in fits and starts. A few pages get in here and there, then weeks go by before I get around to adding more. My best strategy so far has been to assign Maddie to add in some of Sharon's poems as an assignment for her schoolwork. Sharon was a good poet and this way Maddie gets to see some of her work. At this point, I think Maddie, Ashleigh and I may be the only people to ever read the book, so it is a labor of love to put all of the poems together as a book. While Sharon was lying in a coma in the hospital, I made four promises to her. Trying to publish her poems was one of them. I didn't forget babe, sometimes things just take longer to do than I thought. Another project that is taking a while to complete is the cleaning out of my garage and basement. I have made some progress in the garage over the past three weeks, but there is still a long way to go! Last week, Maddie and I brought six Tupperware containers full of items to the flea market to sell. We sold what we could, and then dropped the remaining things off at the good will box afterward. We got rid of two plastic garbage bags of shoes, another garbage bag of stuffed animals, and four and a half containers of clothes. We brought back one and a half containers of things that were looked at a lot, but didn't sell. We figured that since they attracted people's eye, we would use them for bait next week! Even after removing all of that stuff, we still have a long way to go before the garage will be cleared out. Already this week I have gotten five more containers ready to go to the flea market, and it barely looks like I have touched the garage. I also have another bag of stuffed animals and another bag of shoes ready to go as well. I think it will take about five trips to the flea market before we even make a dent in all the junk! And that's even before we get started on the stuff in the basement. At the moment, those are the two big projects I am focused on. Writing on this blog every day is working out great. I think the girls actually enjoy writing things every day, as do I. We have added a categories bar at the side of the site to make it easier to find posts on the many different topics we cover. In general, life is looking up! I continue to train in the martial arts and I work out at home sporadically. I'd like to say that I work out every day, but life keeps me busy, and so far, a few times a week has been the best that I have managed. Working out every day takes dedication and time. So far, both of those factors have been battling me. I am not ready to give up on working out every day as a goal, though, so I will keep trying! To finish up, change is slow. But I have time. My house isn't going anywhere. And neither am I. The garage will get done this year, and so will the book of poetry. I have an urge to put down some decorative rock outside my office door to make the yard look nicer, but so far, that's just an urge. If I bring that on as a project, it means that I will likely not finish up the garage. It is harder to focus when you have too many things pulling at you. For now, the rocks will remain a thing to think about. Getting the junk out of my garage is where the glacier is moving right now. I like to shop for toys! It is so much fun! I like playing with my toys. I have a lot of toys!
Ashleigh |
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