"Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor." That's a quote by my favorite poet, Robert Frost. Frost had a way of looking at the world that made you stop and think. Many of his poems, at first, make you think he is writing about the most inconsequential of things. If you thought this, you would be right... at least on the surface.
Many of Frost's poems would seem to be about small everyday things. Yet it was the meaning that he saw in these things, and his ability to make you see these meanings that make Frost's poems so compelling and haunting. One poem that comes to mind where you can see this in action is with the poem "The Exposed Nest." The poem is about a farmer who is usually very jocular, who is found out in a field trying to place hay in such a way so that it is standing up. His friend finds that this isn't one of the farmer's typical jokes, though. While mowing the field, the farmer accidentally exposed a bird's nest with some young birds in it. He builds the shelter in the hopes that it will give them some relief from the exposure of the sun and some cover from their enemies. He then notes that after doing this, the farmer then never checks on the birds again. To me it seems like the farmer really didn't care about the birds per se, but was instead trying to assuage his own guilt about what was likely to happen to the birds. The birds in the nest were too young to fly away, and without the shelter and the cover of the long grass were likely going to die. The farmer felt bad about this, but not bad enough to take them to his barn and nurse them until they were strong enough to fly away. The truth of the matter was that these young birds were likely going to die now. The farmer did not want to face this truth though, so he built the shelter to at least be able to say to himself that he gave them a fighting chance. He never checked on them again, because he didn't want to ever check on the truth of the matter. To bring this discussion back to the original quote, the change that we see is that these young birds that had the promise of life, were now likely going to die... either from exposure or from a predator. The reality of this change in fortune did not sit well with the farmer, and he felt guilty about it since in effect his reaping had brought this change of fortune about for the young birds (I guess you could say he was the grim reaper). Frost shows that the farmer is aware of what he has done, but doesn't really want to just leave the birds to their fate, and thus he is found building the screen. By not returning to the nest the next day, it seems he doesn't really want to confirm that his actions led to the bird's deaths, but would rather go along with the thought that his subsequent action may have saved the birds, Without checking, he'll never know, and thus it softens the blow to his psyche from his accidental deed. Is this the correct meaning of this poem? I don't know. Some people believe the poem is about a father finding his child in a field trying to help the birds. While this theory makes sense for most of the poem, it loses its potency once he mentions that the person never goes back to check on the birds. Most children I know would do so. Not only that, they would continue to go back and check on the birds until they were no longer there. Most children would return with worms and bugs to toss to the birds to make sure they wouldn't starve. This definitely is not the case in the poem, and thus it leaves me to believe that it is the farmer who spies his mistake and tries to assuage his guilt. In the end, the only constant is change. Changes do occur. In fact, they happen regularly. Truths remain truths, whether we choose to believe them or not. For me, my daughters will always be my little girls... even when they are grown women. My eldest daughter is now 15. When I look at her, I see her, but I still see the little girl who used to hold my hand and reveled in the stories I used to make up on the fly and tell her on long car trips. For Ashleigh, she is now six, and still holds my hand. When I look at her I can see that, but I also see the small little bundle that slept in a cradle next to my desk while I worked, or stood in the playpen at the front of the dojo while I took my karate classes. The changes occur, yet we will always see the truths that live in our hearts.
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"It's in our biology to trust what we see with our eyes. This makes living in a carefully edited, overproduced, and Photoshopped world very dangerous." That is a quote by Brene Brown.
Getting back to today's quote, I think we all know deep down not to believe what we see in the media. Even so, we all, to some extent do! Now I don't think any of you really believe in the zebra ant I have pictured above, but I think that if you saw only the edited versions of the two women above you would believe that that is what they actually looked like. So much so, that if you then met the women in real life, you may feel disappointed with their real looks, even though both of them still look great. I have had a few experiences like that in real life. Each time, I didn't know who I met or saw until after the fact. The earliest example I have of this is when I met Bruce Springsteen in a store one time while I was still in high school.
In other words, he was dressed very similarly to me and my friends, and looked about the same age (we were about 17 or 18 at the time), even though he was actually about 28 or 29 at the time. We all joked around with him for about five minutes, while we waited in line at the music store. After he paid the girl at the register, he said so long, waved, and left. None of us even knew who he was, even though three of us were Bruce fans. The only way we found out was when the girl behind the counter asked us if any of us wanted to buy the VCR slip she had in her hand. When we said, "Why would we want to do that?" She said with an incredulous look on her face: "You mean you didn't know? That was Bruce Springsteen!" In all honesty, I never would have known. He honestly acted like just another dude in high school. I still can't make the two pictures of him match up in my mind! I can say he seemed like a real good guy. He joked around with a bunch of high school kids who he must have realized had no clue to who he was. And he seemed to have enjoyed the banter as much as we did.
The other two people I saw who were a little different were Mary Tyler Moore, and Connie Chung. Both of these women were still very pretty when I saw them. Mary Tyler Moore was in an airport and was talking to the person next to her. She was pretty, but I would not have known it was her if someone hadn't pointed it out to me. I had noticed her as a very pretty woman though! As for Connie, She is extremely pretty in person, she just seemed much shorter than I ever pictured her. She worked in the same building as me in New York during the mid- to late 90's. Sometimes I would be in the same elevator with her and I felt like I towered over her, even though I am not the tallest person myself.
Now that I have made this post longer than I wanted and rambled for a few paragraphs to boot, I'll get back to my main point. everything you see on TV or in print nowadays is likely photo-shopped to some extent. That's true whether it is people or events. Have you been watching the news and reading about the candidate visits to different towns? The media tries to make them look like they are all well attended. The truth of the matter is that most of them aren't. I have seen wide-angled views of some of the crowds where you can see that some of them have less than 75 people in the crowd. I have also seen videos where workers are handing out "home-made" looking signs for the people to hold. Nearly none of it is real folks! I guess to finish I will just say be careful what you believe folks. A lot of what you see on TV is there to sway you, not to inform you. "When watching after yourself, you watch after others. When watching after others, you watch after yourself." That, of course, is a quote by Buddha. The interesting thing about Buddha is that everyone quotes him, but he has no actual writings of his own. In fact, the first sayings written as Buddha's were written about four hundred years after his death.
Have you ever played a game of pass the secret? That's the game where one person starts with a message and then whispers it into the ear of the person sitting to their left. Everyone is in a circle by the way... Well, by the time the "secret" gets back to the original person, the secret is nothing near to what was actually said to begin with! Well, now think about doing that for four hundred years. I am guessing that if any of "his" sayings ever got back to Buddha he would have a Yogi Berra moment. .. "I haven't said half the things they say I said!" Anyway, to get back to the quote, I don't care if Buddha actually said it or not, I believe there is some truth to it. It is particularly true when you are watching after others. Here is a personal example: As many of you know, my wife was an alcoholic, and she drank herself to death. What you might not know is that I am also an alcoholic. I have been sober for seventeen years. When I first met my wife, we both drank. While I drank socially, always with other people, my wife was more of a sneak drinker. So much so, that I didn't even know she had a drinking problem until we were already dating for a couple of weeks! It was at that point that Sharon told me she was an alcoholic and asked me to help her to stop drinking. She asked me, because she did not know how heavily I drank (since I did it mainly on the weekends and occasionally after work). At first I just thought she meant that she drank too much socially, and I told her that in the two weeks that I had known her I only saw her have a couple of drinks. It was at that point that she opened her pocket book and showed me her bottle of vodka. She had a one liter bottle in her pocketbook and it was about halfway gone. She was drinking daily, then, including while she was at work... and I never would have known. At that moment, I promised her that I would help her to quit, and it was then that I had my last drink. That was back in July 1999. Sharon never stopped drinking, even with all of my "help". I literally took hundreds of bottles from her over the years, but it did no good. In 2013, she died of esophageal varices, which was caused by the damage she did to her liver while drinking. To bring it back full circle, in trying to save my wife, I ended up saving myself. (When watching after others, you watch after yourself.} In the end, although I tried my hardest, no one can really save anyone who is caught in an addiction...they must save themselves. BUT, in trying to save Sharon, I ended up saving myself. Sharon and I divorced in 2011 to protect the children. I have raised Maddie alone since she was seven and Ashleigh since the day she came home from the hospital. It pains me that I could not help Sharon. Psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, in patient, out patient, AA... none of it worked with Sharon. It ended up she had addictive personality disorder, but we didn't find that out until it was way too late. I held Sharon for the last six hours of her life after they removed her from life support. She died in my arms. When we first met, I never thought that our last embrace would be in death. I didn't realize how badly she needed help, and I never guessed that I would not be able to give it to her. I was naive, and I felt that if I just stopped drinking myself, I would be able to provide all of the willpower she needed for her to do the same. The other night, someone on Imgur put up a picture of the token they received from AA for being sober for one year. It really touched me, and made me think of Sharon, and myself. I congratulated them, told them how long I had been sober and said "Take it one day at a time, my friend." For those of you who are not afflicted with alcoholism, I can tell you from experience becoming sober is not an easy thing to do. In fact, some never quite make it. Like my wife. Rest in peace Sharon. For those of you still suffering with alcoholism, seek help. AA is a great place to start, and there are in-patient programs that may be of help as well. The idea for this post came from a quote by Paulo Coelho. It's a long one, so I will break it out below. “Ester asked why people are sad. "That’s simple," says the old man. "They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people's ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.” To be honest, I thought about this one for a little while before I decided to write about it. I think what the old man says has a lot of wisdom in it. To start, I do think that we all really do try to follow a plan for our lives. Whether it is a plan we created, or whether it was suggested by others doesn't really matter. We all have something we are trying to accomplish. I have a friend who buys new cars constantly. Why? I don't know. I think he may be trying to buy happiness... or self respect. I think he equates his standing in his social group with what car he drives. He is young yet, so I am curious to see how this little drama works out. What I find more interesting, is how did this "plan" for his spare cash come about? What drives him to buy different cars constantly? Is he a prisoner of his own personal history? For me, memories keep me prisoner. As I get along with my day, I will see or hear something that brings back a memory. When they are happy memories, I usually just smile or laugh. Sometimes, I will share them with my daughter if she is nearby because she is very perceptive and can always pick out when I am amused by something, even if I don't think I am showing it on my face. Lately, I have been happy that I have been insanely busy. The last week in July and the first week in August are typically a tough time for me. Sharon was in a coma for the last two weeks of July and then died on August 1, 2013. It will be the third anniversary of her death on Monday. Today was her birthday. She had just turned 38 when she died. For most of the people on the planet, these days are meaningless. I too, try to make them meaningless since my wife is now dead. I try not to think about these days, as anything special, and I try not to "feel" anything on these days. I fail miserably on those points, however. I seem to be a prisoner of my own personal memories. Each year, I try to chip away at the chains those days have on my soul, but I am barely successful.
Although I wonder if others have trouble coping with their pasts (whether at certain times of the year, or always), I know deep down that many do. I also wonder what dreams were put to the wayside because these people were/are prisoners of their pasts. I also wonder if I can answer honestly what dreams of my own have I put on a shelf due to my own mental wardens holding me prisoner in a prison that I created for myself. We all have dreams we have put to the side over the years. Personally, I wonder how many I have put to the side, not because they were not good ideas or were not worthy, but because of a wall I put up around my own beliefs... or because of my own past mistakes. Today, I was a prisoner to my dead wife's birthday. I stayed busy all day, trying to dig myself out of my prison. I almost made it. My tunnel seems to have collapsed, though, so here I am writing this post. For me, there is always tomorrow to start digging myself out again. Don't be a prisoner to your past folks. Follow your dreams, and if you don't currently have any... then make some! In the end, people regret what they don't do or try to do. Make some dreams... or even a bucket list. And then chase them "Better three hours too soon than a minute too late!" That's a quote by William Shakespeare. Just goes to show that sometimes being a good writer just comes down to saying something in such a way that everyone gets it.
Take the above quote, for instance. What do you think of when you read that sentence? I can almost guarantee that you don't think of the same thing that I do. In fact, you could read that line every day, and, depending on your mood, you may think of something different. If it's early in the morning, and you are in a light-hearted mood, you might think of your first cup of coffee. If you are stressed out, it might remind you of a looming deadline at work. For me, it always reminds me of the same damn thing. And for the rest of my life, I think it always will. You see, this isn't the first time I have read that quote. Indeed, I see it all the time. The words may change a little... or the picture it is attached to. It doesn't matter. No matter how it is presented, it makes me think of my wife, and the things left unsaid between us. My wife's death came as a shock to me. Not that I didn't know she was struggling with problems that could eventually lead to death... I knew that! But just the way it happened. We never think that today may be the last day we see someone. Or, in my case, the last day we can get to say something to them and have them understand. You see, I got to see my wife each day for two weeks while she lay in a coma. She had died three times already by then, but the doctors kept reviving her. To me, those two weeks don't count. For me, the last time I spoke to my wife was on the day before I left for New Jersey with the girls to go to a concert with Madison. This was about two days before Sharon was hospitalized. We had stopped by to say good bye, and we spoke to her for a few minutes. Sharon hadn't been feeling well for the past few weeks and she seemed down. I thought it was because we were going away for a few days. As we got up to leave, Sharon came up to me and gave me a long hug, and whispered I love you into my ear. We were divorced by this time and just giving each other little perfunctory kisses on the cheek when we either came or went... you know, kind of like you do to people who are in your family, but you don't speak to a lot. Thus I was surprised when she did that. I wasn't surprised that she still loved me. I loved her as well. But that she would give me the long hug and say that almost as if she expected never to see me again. I, of course, didn't understand. She was saying her last goodbye. I just didn't realize. Never understood that she was that close to dying. For me, there were so many things left unsaid. So many things that tear me up inside because I was never able to tell her. There is no physical pain that can be worse than knowing you have things that have been left unsaid. Nowadays, I make sure to say I love you to my daughters multiple times per day. I figure it is better to be a lifetime early than even a second too late. None of us really know when we are going to take our last breath. Any of us could die tomorrow. Thus it's better to make sure that you say those things you feel to the people around you. Express love to your loved ones. Friendship to your friends and appreciation for those who help to make your life a better place. You never know when there will be no tomorrow. I learned this lesson a little too late. Don't let it happen to you. They say the early bird gets the worm. To be honest, I think that bird gets peace of mind! A writer that I read daily wrote something that got me thinking today. He wrote "I want to know why you got separated from your spouse. People always say, “It was amicable.” No it wasn’t. Don’t lie. Tell me. Please." Funny that this line hit so close to home for me, since he wasn't really writing about relationships. He was writing about his curiosity and just giving an example of what he finds interesting sometimes.
His name is James Altucher, and he regularly lays his thoughts out for all to see. He writes about the good things in his life and the bad, but his writing usually has a point to it. I like that. Well, his quote above got me thinking because after I got my divorce I sometimes told people I didn't know well that our divorce was amicable... It wasn't really. And so, without further ado, I'll tell the story. My wife and I got a divorce in 2011. In a nutshell, our divorce was caused by addiction. My wife and I first started dating in July, 1999. She was 23 and I was 33. We had known each other for a few months prior to starting dating. She had been married, but her husband had died. We started chatting at a party and when we started talking she told me he had died a couple of months prior. We really hit it off and started dating soon after. About two weeks after we started dating, Sharon told me she was an alcoholic and asked me to help her stop. I gave up drinking on that day, and have not had another drink since. My wife, on the other hand, was never able to give up alcohol for any great length of time. In fact, her longest time sober was when my first daughter was born. She stopped for about two years then... the nine months during the pregnancy and an additional 18 months while she was breast feeding. Soon after, her parents came from England to visit her and the stress of the visit, coupled with depression started her drinking again. Over the years, we went to AA meetings, in-patient re-habs, outpatient programs, Psychiatrists psychologists, and to numerous social workers. None of them could do it for her, and she just couldn't do it for herself. Sharon was a sneak drinker, and Madison was young, so she never realized that her mommy had a problem in the early years. By age seven, this was changing. (I worked from home on and off starting in 2001, and then started my own business in 2003, so I was home to make sure Maddie was safe.) Sharon was not a social drinker and had a tendency to drink quickly but heavily when no one was around to see her. She was very hard to catch, and only regular sweeps of our house and property kept some sort of limit on her drinking. Her tolerance was very high, and she could go for long periods where she fooled me into thinking she was sober. Even so, Maddie knew from a very early age that she was not allowed to drive with Mommy. Daddy did the driving whenever Maddie was going out with us. But I digress. In 2009, Sharon and I decided to have another baby. Sharon's drinking had been getting progressively worse and she thought that she would stop if she got pregnant. Maddie was seven, and by this time she already knew about Mommy's drinking problem. Sharon started lying about the drinking to Maddie, something she never thought she would do. It scared her, and she thought that the pregnancy would force her to stop since she would never willingly drink with a baby inside her. Unfortunately, she was unable to stop. At one point, she was found unconscious in the parking lot at our dojo, and we called an ambulance for her. Believe it or not, we thought it was anemia having to do with the pregnancy. In fact, the doctor at the emergency room actually said that is what it was. After speaking to her at the hospital, though, I began to suspect that she had been drinking and I told the nurse to tell the doctor that she was an alcoholic and that I believe she had been drinking. He tested her blood alcohol content and found she had a .42! This is well above the legal limit of .08. The doctor was stunned. He had had a conversation with Sharon and she had been coherent, so he never even thought to check her for alcohol use. He was astounded that she could even talk at that level of inebriation. At that time, he told me he couldn't tell me if there had been any damage to the fetus, but he thought that it was likely. I was crushed! After that Sharon was charged with drunk driving and I plea bargained with the DA before her court appearance. I told him to tell the judge that I would have her plead guilty and that I would pay all fines at the maximum rate as long as he court-ordered that she enter an in-patient rehab facility. Sharon would never willingly go for an in-house program. In fact, I could barely get her to go to an AA meeting. She was 7-months pregnant and I figured that an inpatient program was the safest thing for the baby. The judge did even better than that. Not only did he court order the in-patient program (and take her license) but he lowered her fines to the minimum that he could, since I was paying for the in-patient program out of my pocket. Sharon entered a program at Phoenix House in Keene. She did well, and it ended about two weeks before she was due to give birth. Unfortunately, Sharon got drunk again on the first night she was back and fell and broke her ankle. I had swept the house and knew it was clean. She had somehow gotten alcohol in Keene and brought it back with her in her bags from the in-patient facility. The doctor recommended that she have a cesarean birth the next day, to help protect the baby. Ashleigh was born on January 18, 2010, two weeks premature and suffering from alcohol withdrawal. She spent the first nine hours of her life in an oxygen tent. At that point, I felt Sharon was too dangerous to be around the girls and I pressed child neglect charges against her. I brought Ashleigh home alone when she was four days old, and I have raised her and Maddie ever since. At that point, I had no intention of divorcing my wife. Sharon went back into in-house therapy, and we tried to get her drinking under control. At one point, (in July) the courts allowed Sharon to come back to live in our home, but she quickly began drinking again. One night, when I called the police to help me with Sharon, (she eventually passed out right in front of the police man), he recommended that I go in the morning and get an ex-parte separation. This would allow me to continue to live in the home, while limiting her access to it. Without that, the police could not remove her from the home since she was legally allowed to live there and drink. I had her taken to the emergency room that night, and first thing in the morning I hired a lawyer and got an exparte separation. Given the circumstances (the child neglect charges, the history of alcoholism and alcohol related arrests, we were only in front of the judge for five minutes. In all, Sharon's stay in our home lasted about three weeks. We paid for a one-bedroom apartment for Sharon and we continued to see doctors and social workers to try and get her to stop drinking. It was at this point, that one of the psychologists told us that Sharon was actually suffering from Addictive personality disorder. (Sharon had eating disorders that we were trying to deal with and other things as well. After ten years of seeing doctors and psychologists, one finally hit on the fact that all of her compulsions were tied together. Sharon continued to drink and I eventually filed for divorce. Of course, there were other things impacting that decision. It's just none of your business. Two years after our divorce, Sharon drank herself to death. She developed esophageal varacies in 2011, continued to drink. After a two week stay in the hospital in a coma, her life support was removed and she died in my arms. Of course, there is more to the story than that. I write about Sharon from time to time. If you look through the archives, you can likely piece together a lot of the story. Some things I just won't or can't write about though. Sometimes, I wish I didn't know... and sometimes, it is better not to know. So, while the divorce wasn't amicable, in time, we both realized that it was the best thing for our girls. Sometimes we need to think about things other than ourselves. Sharon missed our daughters dearly when she was away from them. But because she could not stop her drinking, it was safest that she did not live with us. With that said, our divorce led to a lot of heartbreak, but was the best thing for our daughters. Now that I have written this, I think it is just best to say that our divorce was painful, and just leave it at that. "To know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom." That's a quote by Charles Spurgeon. Spurgeon lived in the mid 1800's and was known as the "Prince of Preachers". He was a reformed Baptists, and many of his sermons are still around today.
A lot of people nowadays mistake knowledge for wisdom. They are really two different things... as Spurgeon is alluding to. Dictionary. com defines knowledge as: acquaintance with facts, truths or principles. Meanwhile, their definition of wisdom is: the quality or state of being wise. knowledge of what is true or right, coupled with just judgement and insight. Well, there is the catch... To have wisdom, you need insight and judgement. Have you ever met someone who is just book smart? They have a lot of knowledge, but no idea how to put it to good use! There are a lot of people like that in my profession. They have CFAs or MBA, sometimes both. Yet they can't pick a decent stock to save their life! There is one guy I know, that I would say is one of my wisest friends. The funny thing is he is not very knowledgeable in any given subject. Don't get me wrong, he has an Ivy league education... Harvard to be exact. He just doesn't have a lot of knowledge about any particular subject. What he does have is wisdom. He surrounds himself with knowledgeable people, and then fires off extremely insightful questions. He then takes the knowledge that he hears and puts it into action. He proves day in and day out that it is not what you know but who you know. I have never seen him treat anyone badly, and he makes everyone he meets feel smart by the questions he asks. He doesn't just ask questions about things he wants to know. No, he asks questions to see what you know. That way, if he ever needs your expertise, he has another person he can talk to. As you can guess, this man has lots of friends. They are friends with him because not only will he ask questions of them, but he will introduce them to others who have similar backgrounds to you. That way you make new smarter connections as well. He is a networking genius... and that, my friend, is a sign of wisdom in action. I have met a lot of people with specific knowledge in one field who try to make you feel stupid for not knowing what they know. This is the exact opposite of my friend. These people usually don't last long. They have specific knowledge, but they aren't interested in sharing it and building on it. Since that is the case, no one goes out of their way to share ideas with them either. To me, to have wisdom, you need to be open to new information (knowledge) and at the same time be happy to share the knowledge you already have. Human progress is a visual history of shared knowledge. Wisdom, or knowledge... which would you rather have? Being an analyst, I can tell you, knowledge is always available. You may have to dig deep to find it, but if there is a will there is a way. Meanwhile, wisdom comes with experience. It is easy to gather knowledge. But it takes time to see how to best put it to work. Oftentimes, people have knowledge. They just don't know what to do with it. That is where being wise really helps. Be like my friend. Be wise! "My image of me is not at all your image of me." That's a quote by Alan Watts. "Who is Alan Watts?" you might ask. He was a philosopher who died in the early '70's whose claim to fame was that he popularized eastern philosophy for a western audience. He wrote The Way of Zen, one of the first best-selling books on Buddhism. I like the quote above because it is true. No one knows you better than yourself, and yet, oftentimes people will be their own worst critics. Sometimes it seems that we are only able to see the negatives about ourselves in a clear light while the good points are obscured until someone points them out to us. Why is it that the person we should know the best, is the person we sometimes know the least about. Why is it so hard for some of us to convey our own good qualities? A while back I put up a profile on Zoosk.com ... a dating site. On your home page, they have you write a little something about yourself, which will hopefully help to let someone know a little bit about you and make you sound appealing. Well, I just went back and read mine and I am ashamed to say that I don't even think I sound interesting. To be honest, after reading my "Story" I don't even think I would like to meet myself! What I wrote is below. I will give my self assessment afterward. I live in Rindge and I work out of my home, I have two daughters, 14 and 6. I home school both of my daughters. I train in the martial arts a couple times a week and help teach the little ninja classes twice a week. I am a 2nd degree blackbelt, as is my oldest daughter. We take our training seriously. I like to fish hike and go canoeing. I am not a big fan of TV. I prefer to read or to watch a movie on DVD. I like to go to the movies and concerts, and I love to take my daughters to museums. I also like flea markets and antique stores. I am a good cook, although I prefer to use a grill rather than the stove. I am not a vegetarian and while I can cook vegetables, I much prefer to cook a nice steak. I do not smoke or drink and preferably, you don't either. My ex-wife died in August, 2013 due to complications from alcoholism thus heavy drinkers and party girls need not apply. Part Two I am looking for someone who isn't into partying, likes children and doesn't feel the need to go out every night. While an appreciation of the martial arts or the willingness to learn isn't a necessity, it would be nice to find someone who actually does. Like most people I like to laugh and to make others laugh. A good sense of humor would be welcome. Aside from that, I am open to meeting new people. I have been out of the dating scene for over 17 years so it will be nice to meet new types of people. Well, there it is. While everything I said in the blurb there is true, I personally don't see anything there that anybody will latch onto and say, Wow, I'd really like to meet that guy! It is short and blunt and leaves nothing to the imagination... and nothing to build a dream on. Who really cares if I am a good cook? It's true, but no one really gives a shit. I don't drink, so I likely cut off about 80% of the eligible women with that statement. Moreover, two to four times a week I have basically said that I am either going to go and hit and kick things or teach kids how to properly hit and kick things.
I despise TV. Yep, that's gonna win me a lot of hearts.I like to read... so go amuse yourself for a few hours while I read this book! Well is there anything else? Well, now that you mention it, I said I like to go to the movies or concerts, but I never said what kind of movies I like or what type of music I like. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if women thought I'd probably like to sit through a night of chamber music... or maybe the chanting monks! So what could I have written that may have made me sound more enticing? Only things that either won't win me any friends, or things that are only partially true. For instance, while I love to go to rock concerts and have seen hundreds of bands, most of those were from when I was younger. My schedule only allows me to get out only so often. In fact, over the past two years I have seen only six bands... and four of those were on the same night! Yikes! So what else? I like to have deep discussions on a broad range of topics... economics, philosophy, psychology. In fact, when I can't find people to talk about these things with, I will write about them three to five times a week on my blog. I have my daughters write on the blog too, so you can basically see where the whole family is coming from! If you are looking for a snappy dresser, then I am not your man! I prefer jeans and a t shirt. I do know how to dress up. But after twenty years in a suit, I came to find I am most comfortable in jeans and a T. Shaving is optional in my world. There is a 90% chance that I won't shave on any given day. I will scrape it off every once in a while, particularly if we are doing something where it i expected that I don't look like the unabomber. Note, though, that I do prefer women who shave their legs and armpits. Women with bodies hairier than mine are a dealbreaker! Yep, I bet my new revised write up is just gonna win me a lot of hearts. Okay, folks, here's an assignment... particularly if you are a long-time reader. Write me up a story line that you think can win me favor with the roulette wheel of Zoosk! Try to make it honest! It can be funny or serious. Believe me, I will be amused by all of them. If one of them is really eye catching. I'll use it for my storyline on Zoosk. I am not a subscriber by the way, I just have a free account. I figure I can sign up quickly if someone catches my eye. That's me on the right. "People don't want to hear the truth, because they don't want their illusions destroyed." That's a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche. I am going to assume you all know a little about Friedrich, that way I don't have to bore you with a run down on his life and thoughts.
One thing I will say, is that although many people seem to think his writing was popular with the Nazis, this really isn't so. You see, in his later years he had lost his mental faculties and was taken care of by his family. After his death in 1900, his sister took control of his writings and reworking Nietzsche's unpublished writings to fit her own German nationalist ideology while often contradicting or obfuscating his stated opinions, which were explicitly opposed to antisemitism and nationalism. That's what Wikipedia has to say on the subject anyway! As for the above quote, I think Nietzsche was spot on. There are a number of truths that people just don't want to hear nowadays, because it doesn't fit with their illusions. It's important to note that not all people are opposed to all truths, but that if enough people are opposed to any given truth, they will do their best to shout down anyone who opposes their belief. Below, are some things that I see as fundamentally true that people don't want to hear.
Okay, that's enough. I think you get the idea. There are a lot more truths out there. Write some in a comment and send them to me. If they aren't too bad, maybe I will post them in a follow up post. So far, I have had zero responses to my requests for thoughts on the different posts I write. I don't blame you really. I rarely respond to other people's requests either. We all have a lot to do, I realize. I find it kind of cool that 160 separate people read our blog last week, and that we have been averaging over 140 people a week for the past few weeks. If you like what you see, tell others about it. We have fun writing the blog and it is a homeschooling project for both of my daughters. So we'll keep writing whether you respond or not. Good night folks! Can we take a moment to discuss the difference between these two commonly confused words, please?
con·fi·denceˈkänfədəns/ noun
con·ceit kənˈsēt/ noun
Okay. Now that that has been established; I think you can see the difference. Conceit takes confidence to a whole new level. Conceit; in my opinion at least; is when you don’t know when to stop talking about yourself to others. You may be confident or you may be insecure, but whatever the case may be- you never shut up. You don’t shut up about how talented you are (even though you may not be), you don’t shut up about how attractive you are, you don’t shut up about how everyone loves you, and you don’t shut up about how fucking wonderful you are. And quite frankly, it’s annoying! I am an advocate of the whole “self love” and learning to love yourself movement- but this is ridiculous! In my opinion; confidence is something you have that you don’t share with others. You keep it to yourself; and in doing so your confidence is radiant and others can tell you’re confident just from how you act. Because YOU know it. You don’t have to constantly walk around telling everyone or reminding everyone of your brilliance; they just get that from you because you naturally are. I personally believe that it’s great to have confidence. I think it’s wonderful when people appreciate themselves; and take pride in what they do and how they do it. That’s great! What isn’t great is being so insecure or so full of yourself that you feel the need to rub it in everyone’s face and even tear others down to build yourself up. That’s just awful. “Confidence isn’t walking into a room and comparing yourself to others. Confidence is walking into a room and not having to compare at all.” - Maddie I really believe this quote is truthful. I agree with it 100%. Whatever stresses you out the most (or matters the most to you, I guess) is the defining bit of your life that shows what will trigger your emotions; whether happy, sad, anxious, whatever. And if you observe people long enough... you can figure out what it is that consumes their mind and makes their lives either a misery or a peaceful calm. For myself? I'd have to say that I spend a lot of time thinking about my friends and how to help them. That's how I am; I am very empathetic and I like helping others because in a way, it brings down my stress levels too.
But enough about me. Let's examine YOU, reader. When you get happy, what is often the cause of it? Are those around you happy? Did you just receive a new item? Did you just take a long walk and see a gorgeous sight? Did you get promoted at work? Did you hear your favorite song on the radio? What was it? Was it something little, or something big? Something that can happen every day; or something that takes time to come around? How we value what makes us happy ultimately defines how happy we will be; and while we can talk the talk and say we appreciate the little things... we need to sit back and see if we actually do. Now forget about the happiness, let's talk about anger. What pisses you off? When something doesn't go your way? When your car breaks down? When a bad song comes on the radio? When you're behind on work? When those around you are in negative moods? What. Is. It? Because the same thing that applied to happiness... applies to anger, too. These questions can be re-applied, in fact, to any emotion in your range. I find that they really help reveal what your mind centers on. Give it a try. Find yourself. I dare you. - Maddie "History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools." This is a quote by Ambrose Bierce. If you don't know who Ambrose is, then you really need to read more! "Bitter Bierce" wrote for a number of magazines and newspapers in the 1870's through about 1913.
In addition to writing for the papers, he also wrote poetry and short stories. Bierce had been a soldier during the civil war and fought in many battles. He was injured grieviously, and his war experience had a huge impact on his writing. In 1913, he disappeared in Mexico while travelling with Pancho Villa. Where he died, why and how all remain a mystery to this day. Enough about Bierce! He was an interesting character. If you want to know more go read about him. If you want to see some of his satire in action, then read the Devil's Dictionary... a tongue in cheek book with cynical and bitter definitions of words. Quite funny actually. Just remember the time period that it was written in since some of the definitions are now outdated. To get back to the quote, I think he has a point. History is an account of events that are usually written by the victor. Thus, while you do get an idea of what happened, you never get the full truth. In fact, I imagine that you rarely get the full truth in most of it! Secondly, many of the things that you learn in history are not overly important in themselves, but when taken in the whole, can help to give you some context towards what has happened in the past. My main beef about history is that it often glorifies war. I think that Bierce saw this as a distinct negative too. Some of his war stories are particularly gruesome. He doesn't write about it to gross people out, but to show what he experienced in war. I think that no one can really read his war stories and come away with the thought that war is glorious. In fact, after reading the stories, you may come away with the feeling that soldiers may be fools for believing that war IS glorious. Read "Chickamauga" to see what I mean. Still, history is one of my favorite subjects. I like to see if I can find facts that differ from what I was taught in school. Oftentimes I find that I can find dissenting views... or at least differing points of view. One thing that I find again and again that is different from what we learn in school is that war is hell. This and other similar quotes are written by the soldiers themselves and their leaders. The only ones who say otherwise are the politicians and the people who have never experienced war first hand. With that said, I tell my daughters to avoid military service. Many of the wars that are fought are not fought for the reasons given. For a recent example, think about Iraq's "weapons of mass destruction". Furthermore, think about why did we attack Iraq? The Muslims that were said to be on the planes that crashed into the world trade center were said to be from Saudi Arabia... not Iraq, and the sect of Islam that they followed was not followed in Iraq. So, why did we attack Iraq? I will leave that up to you, dear reader. Surely the fact that they have oil had nothing to do with it. Or the fact that they wanted to start selling the oil in a currency other than the U.S. dollar. History is written by the victor. Assume much of it is bullshit. Did we go to war? Yes. Was it for the reasons the government told us? Doubtfully. "It is always better to light a candle than curse the darkness." This is said to be an ancient Chinese proverb...and it very well may be! No matter where it came from, I thought about it today, while reading through my Facebook page. I don't know about you, but there are five types of posts on my Facebook page. Three of the types I like. These are: The ones that are trying to be funny...the ones that are trying to convey information and the ones that are showing off pretty girls or trucks or antiques etc. The ones I don't like are the ones that get overly political or the ones from the whiners and complainers.
It's the whiners and complainers that bother me the most, although the political posts are annoying too. Here is a good example. On Facebook today someone put up a picture that said..."Oh God, why don't you send us a person to cure aids, cancer, etc. etc." God replied, "I did, but you aborted him." As if this wasn't bad enough, then someone else added to it. Again the question was asked about sending someone. This time the person had God answer: "I did but you gave them a substandard education because they lived in an area with low property taxes. AND I did but they died because they couldn't afford health care. AND I did but due to racism... and on and on and finally, I did, but you made her carry an unwanted pregnancy to term. So how does all of this lead back to the quote at the top of the page? Easy. Light a candle. None of the above things is real. It is just complaining. People who don't think, or who like to complain grab a hold of it though, and use it as their excuse. I could have done this...but my education held me back. Well, when did YOUR education ever become anyone else's responsibility other than your own or your parent's? If you don't want to have a child, then use protection...or even better, keep your legs closed. Can't afford health care? then eat better, exercise and do everything you can to stay healthy. In fact, many of these things tie together. If you can't afford good healthcare, then it is likely that you failed to get a good education...or maybe your parents failed to get a good education, and you or they work a job that doesn't give good healthcare as a benefit. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have news for you. No one is responsible for you or your children but you. Not your neighbor, not the state, not the federal government. Just you. Do you want a cure for cancer? Okay, what have you done to help the cause? Do you work in the health care fields? No, well do you donate money to charities that are set up to research a cure? No, then don't complain. No one gives a shit about your stupid meme! Did you have an unwanted pregnancy? Then don't have sex. It is really that simple. The media treats sex as if none of us can live without it. We can. While sex is enjoyable, we don't need it. And if you are not in a position to take responsibility for a child, then you shouldn't be having it. Now, if you do feel that the education of someone else's child Is your responsibility, then you can donate money to your local school. In fact, I believe there should be no public education at all. I think that everyone should have to be responsible for either teaching their own children or for paying for that child's education out of their own pocket. If others want to "donate" towards that cause, that should be up to them. If you don't like the darkness, light a candle people! Don't waste everyone's time by complaining. Do something. Just make sure, whatever you do, that what you do is something that doesn't involve infringing on someone else's rights and tries to force them to do something that they don't want to do. Whining that you want a better education for your child and that others should pay for it is just plain wrong. If you want a better education for your child, then work with them daily. Even if it is after work. They are your children. Or pay to send them to a private school if you are not happy with the public education in your town. If you don't like the darkness around you folks, then light a candle. One candle can light many others, Sometimes, people need to be shown what to do. Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Show a man how to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. And, if after you show that man how to fish, if he decides not to, then that's his problem. It doesn't mean catch two fish so that he can always have one. Sometimes it's okay to let someone live by their own poor decisions. Light the candle on whatever motivates you... and see if your one candle can't light up the world! "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy. Its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." That, friends, is a quote from Winston Churchill.
Personally, I don't know what to think of old Winston. There are many things he said and did, that I can truly appreciate. There are other things that were reprehensible. I guess that makes him human, since we all have our good and bad moments. It's just that for most of us, our bad moments won't willfully cost other people their lives. Regardless of what you think of the man, I agree with the above quote. I sometimes think that people have either lost their minds or just don't understand economics, history, or property rights. To me, I believe every person has the right to decide what to do with their property...including their money. Socialism, on the other hand, seems to think that everyone is entitled to the sweat of your labor. And not just your labor, but anyone and everyone who is actually working to survive. If you, as an individual, want to give someone else a portion of your pay or property to help them live better, that is entirely up to you. On the other hand, no one has the right to tell other people what they have to do with their money...particularly in regards to charity. Yet Socialism isn't just about charity. It is about the trampling of one person's rights to improve the lot of another. Laws governing the treatment of organized labor is a case in point. So is socialized medicine and social security. Any time, one person's rights are put to the wayside by legislation to improve the lot of another, it is a travesty. In my mind, the United States has slowly turned into a socialist country. Most people are too ignorant to realize it. Very few have read the communist manifesto. If they had, they would see that many of the changes that the federal government has rammed through over the past 100 years are in actuality planks of the communist manifesto. Here is a link to a web page that explains the ten planks set out by Karl Marx. He wrote them in 1848 by the way. What I find amazing is that our country follows socialist policies, and most people walk around calling our country the land of the free! At the same time, when these socialist policies fail and create economic problems, The liberal newspapers scream about the failures of Capitalism! George Orwell wrote about doublethink in his famous novel "1984". If you haven't read it. You really should. It is a thought provoking read! Ayn Rand's novel "Atlas Shrugged" is also a good read, although it is very long and drags at times. Read these novels, and then look at our country and see if you see the parallels. These people were true visionaries. Well, there is my rant for today. Sorry about the subject matter, but on occasion, someone says something really stupid, and I can't hold myself back... and a rant is born! Have a good night!
SO, I have to speedily write a blog post- and I figured; why not over-analyze a quote!? I love metaphors, for those who haven't read previous posts by me... and I love this one for its simplistic truth. Trust is truly something that can never be regained; much like an eraser. It takes time to wear down, too- but each time you use it, the roughness (or trust in this case) breaks down until it wastes away at a faster rate and then disappears altogether.
I'd like to take this a few steps further, too. When the eraser on a pencil is all gone... the pencil either gets thrown out, forgotten and pushed aside, or only used in the time of convenience. I think the same can be said when trust in people runs out. I know that personally; I remove those who I cannot trust from my life or slowly cut them off or distance myself so as not to hurt them. I try not to use them for convenience, but I know a few of my friends who have done it before. Moral of this blog post? Stay honest, and stay true. ~Maddie "It is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart." Mahatma Gandhi said that one. Actually, it is a small part of a long-winded quote, which I really didn't feel like dealing with this evening. And anyway, the small part I quoted is really a good rule for living, if you really think about it.
Have you ever said something that you later came to regret? Or said, something that, while true, was very hurtful to someone and that really didn't need to be said in the first place? If so, whether it was about a very small subject or a life changing moment, those are still examples of words without a heart. Meanwhile, if you ever had your heart aching to tell someone something, but you could not find the right words to actually express how you feel, then that is an example of having a heart with no words. I have experienced both sides of that coin over the years, and I can tell you from experience that they both suck. If you ever experience the feeling of a heart without words, I recommend you find someone you can confide in that may be able to help you to find those words. Take it from me, IT IS IMPORTANT!!! We all think that there will be another day to express our feelings to the ones we love. It's not always true. In Genesis, it says " For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return." Believe me, you'd be surprised how quickly people can whither and die in your life. Your heart without words will come back to haunt you if you never act to find the words. If you take one idea from this post, make it the idea that a heart without words can torment you if you wait too long to find the words, or if you find the words and then decide to keep them to yourself until you find a better time to say them. A heart without words can quickly turn into a broken heart, or a heart of sadness. On the flip side, never say words out of anger only. If you know something you are going to say is going to hurt, and you truly love or respect (or both) the person you are going to say it to, then think twice about saying it. Is that one moment of satisfaction or triumph worth the pain you are going to unleash? Remember, just because something is true does not mean that it won't hurt the other person. Try and let your heart guide you in affairs of the heart. Let your head guide you in the logic of your actions. Usually logic will and can win out in both situations. Unfortunately, there will be times when you are emotionally hurt and your logic won't always win out. That is when you need your heart to do your speaking for you. NOT your emotions. Your inner feelings are from the heart. If the feelings seem to be emanating from your head, then that is an emotion. In general, your heart can express love, not like and sadness, not anger or vengeful feelings. Compassion comes from your heart. Revenge and tit for tat from your mind. All said, a heart without words is a call to find the words. Words without heart is a fool's errand. Love deeply. Forgive the small and inconsequential. Know yourself. And express your true feelings from the heart only. This is a part of a quote someone wrote about an acid trip they had been on. Although I wasn't really interested in his trip, the above phrase really stuck out at me. At first, I thought the answer to the implied question was easy. Words were a form of communication, while silence was, well, really quiet! But then I started thinking about it. Sometimes silence can convey as much meaning as words. I started thinking about the last hours of my wife's life. She was dying in the hospital and was in an induced coma. She could hear what was going on around her at times, I knew, because I saw her react to things that I said, and actually try to open her eyes when my daughter came to visit her. There was so much I wanted to say to her as she lay there dying...but I didn't. I held her for six hours, yet I didn't say more than a few words to her. I held her in my arms until she died. I was afraid to say too much to her because I did not want to wake her up enough so that she knew what was happening to her. I didn't want her to know that my heart was breaking, that Maddie and Ashleigh were now going to grow up without a mother, or even that her parents had already left to go back to England. I did want her to know four things though, that I told her within the first few minutes of my vigil. My promises to her and my love for her. After that, there was over five hours of silence between us. Yet in that time, communication still occurred. I held her as lovingly as you can, while one is in a hospital bed, and the other is just kneeling on a chair next to the bed. I put my arm around her shoulders and let her head rest between the pillow and my shoulder. I tried not to move too much, because I did not want to jostle her out of unconsciousness. After three hours, I needed to pee badly. But I still did not move, because I thought she could go at any moment. You see, no one had told me that when you took someone off of a ventilator, they could live for hours. I hope that she somehow knew I was embracing her and that I wasn't going to let her die alone. I truly want to believe that at some point, she knew I was there with her. Words can sometimes fail us...but an embrace cannot be faked. At least not for six hours anyway. The whole time I held my wife, her eyes were closed, as if she was sleeping peacefully. The violence of her breathing belied the reality behind that picture though. When my wife finally passed away, I gave her a kiss and got up to go. I couldn't really walk yet because my legs had been in one position for too long. Instead, I stood there and answered a question the nurse asked me from across at the nurses station. I only looked towards the door for a moment, but when I looked back, Sharon's eyes were open. Now I know that muscles relax with death, and that it was an involuntary reaction. Yet her eyes seemed to be looking right at me. Were they accusing me? Were they thanking me? I don't know. My wife was already dead. I like to think that God was giving her one last look at me, before she began the long wait to see me again in heaven. The silence in the room was palpable. I mumbled "good bye my love", feeling a great well of sadness that never really goes away, and I then went out of the room. Sometimes, silence is the only way to convey a thought or action. Other times it is not. When Maddie was young, I sang to her often. Nowadays, I sing to Ashleigh. And she sings back to me. Maddie has outgrown my singing for the most part. Every once in a while, I will sing the song I made up for her to her anyway. I have made up very similar songs for both of my girls. I have also combined them to make one song to convey my feeling for both of them. The songs allow me to convey my love for my girls in a fun way without being smothering. I sing them to myself sometimes as I think back on little things I have done with one girl or the other in the past. Ashleigh gets a song nearly every time we go to karate alone together. The words, in this instance convey the message. It's a message that I never want them to forget. My daughters are growing up fast now. And I am growing older. In less than a decade, my eldest daughter will be leaving my home to start her own family. That is the reality of life. And yet I will continue to sing my Maddie song. As I did last night, and again today. I sing it to myself...or the Ashleigh song, when my spirits need a lift. Sometimes I sing it out loud, but usually in my head. I hope I have sung it enough so that somewhere in the back of their minds, they will remember them. Remember it, and recognize it. So one day, when they are well into their nineties, (at least) hopefully, they will recognize that song and not be afraid as they follow it back to its source in heaven where I will be singing it to welcome them home, and our family can be together again for eternity. The Maddie Song
M-A-D-I-S-O-N Daddy loves Maddie Madison And who's my good girl Mad-i-son? Daddy loves Maddie Madison. Daddy loves Maddie, Daddy loves Maddie. Daddy loves Maddie Madison! And who's my good girl Madison? Daddy loves Maddie Madison And who's my good girl Mad-i-son? Daddy loves Maddie Madison. Daddy loves Maddie, Daddy loves Maddie. Daddy loves Maddie Madison! The Ashleigh Song Who's my good girl, Ash-e-leigh? Daddy loves little Ashleigh. And who's my good girl Ash-e-leigh? Daddy loves big girl Ashleigh! Ash-e-leigh Ash-e-leigh! Daddy loves Ashleigh, Daddy loves Ashleigh, Daddy loves big girl Ash-e-leigh! And who's my good girl Ash-e-leigh? Daddy loves big girl Ashleigh! Ash-e-leigh Ash-e-leigh! Daddy loves Ashleigh, Daddy loves Ashleigh, Daddy loves big girl Ash-e-leigh! The Sisters Song (this is Ashleigh's favorite) Who's my good girl Madison? Daddy loves Maddie Madison. And who's my good girl Ash-e-leigh? Daddy loves little Ashleigh. Mad-i-son! Ash-e-leigh! Daddy loves Maddie! And Daddy loves Ashleigh! Daddy loves both his little girls! And who's my good girl Ash-e-leigh? Daddy loves big girl Ashleigh! And who's my good girl Madison? Daddy loves Maddie Madison! Ash-e-leigh! Mad-i-son! Daddy loves Ashleigh! And Daddy loves Maddie! Daddy loves both his little girls! I have expressed my hatred for this subject before; but I feel the need to write about it again to stress its importance. So many people walk around feeling that they know everything there is to know about addiction. I've been told by people before "alcohol can't harm you unless you abuse it".... I disagree. An addiction is an addiction; whether you abuse it or not. As long as you're drinking regularly... you're addicted. It doesn't matter if you 'abuse' it or not. Abusing it just makes the case worse. IT. IS. STILL. ADDICTION.
I have also had friends say "you can't get addicted from one beer" and other dumb shit along those lines. Well guess what, genius? How do you think addictions start? Do you think you take one sip of beer and become a full-blown alcoholic? No. It takes time. The more you do it, the worse it gets. It doesn't start full-blown. Just like anything else, it has to grow... and to grow it has to be fed. This is the exact reason that I refuse to ever consume alcohol or drugs of any type. All it takes is one... and then I could potentially be ruining my life. Addiction runs in my family, particularly to drugs and alcohol. This means that I myself am susceptible to becoming easily addicted. I watched it ruin my mom's life and I've watched it ruin the lives of people in my family and I do not wish to follow in their footsteps... I know that it is possible to live a happy and healthy life WITHOUT alcohol or drugs being involved. I try to distance myself from those who include it in their lifestyle simply for my own health. I cannot stand to see people drink, even though I do unfortunately have to witness it from time to time and jokes about it making it seem like it's no big deal make me physically ill. Do not tell me addiction is nothing to worry about. Do not tell me to "just get over it". Do not tell me things could be worse. Do not tell me that it doesn't matter. Do not tell me that it is normal. And do NOT tell me that it is acceptable and a part of society today. That is bullshit. Addictions end lives. I know that too well. Don't be stupid. ~Maddie The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous. Hierarchical society is only possible on the basis of poverty and ignorance... The war is waged by the ruling group against its own subjects and and its object is not the victory versus Eurasia (ISIS) or East Asia (Al Qaeda), but to keep the very structure of society intact." That is quote by George Orwell written in 1949 in his masterpiece "1984" I added ISIS and Al Qaeda in there just to show how dead on his book was back then about what the future held. Think about it. Do you ever really think the government is going to give up on "the war on terror"? I mean it's perfect for them. Because they are not fighting an enemy from a particular country, they can bomb and kill people where ever they like! And the sad part is that they can do this, then mention that they killed so and so a leader of the bad guys. And we are all supposed to cheer...as if we knew exactly who they were talking about! Most people have no real clue as to who we are fighting...only that they are bad people and they want to kill us. How do we know this? Because the government tells us so, of course. And the sad part is that they are probably right. There are people out there who want to kill us. Just like there are people in our own country who want to make the Middle East into a gigantic parking lot. The poor and uneducated like to blame people in far off lands for their troubles. And our government wants to perpetuate this type of thinking. As I said in my last post, I think it is strange that "our enemies" choose targets that are poised to piss off our general population and bring the might of our military down on them. What did they really gain by killing a bunch of civilians that have nothing to do with them? Why did they not go after the heads of some of our major corporations that do the deals that change their way of life? Or our politicians who enact our foreign policy that seems to enrage them so much? Attacking those types of targets would likely not enrage our populous and have them signing up to go kill people in foreign lands. It might scare the pants off of the elites of our country and have them clamoring for war even more than they do now, but it's likely the regular Joe Six-pack out there wouldn't be going to the recruiting station to get revenge for some CEO. So who benefits from the targets that are chosen? Did Al Qaeda benefit after we sent thousands of troops over there to kill them? Or did our government and some large corporations benefit? Follow the money folks. Who benefited from the patriotic fervor that shot across the United States? Did the shareholders of the large aerospace and defense companies benefit? I think so. Did our military and political leaders benefit in anyway? I think the answer there might also be a big yes. Were all of these people involved? No. Did terrorists take down the twin towers? Yes. I am just not certain it was the terrorists we so quickly went out to kill. Think about our world people. Think about your cell phone and our computers. Think about our politicians and our media. Isn't it amazing that a man in 1949 could write a story about a twisted future and have it be uncannily accurate...even if he was off by a couple of decades! I'll leave off with one more George Orwell quote for you to think about. Leave a comment after you have thought about it and let me know what you think. "War is peace. Freedom is slavery Ignorance is strength" Okay, one more. I promise, no more George Orwell quotes or conspiracy-type posts...at least for a while anyway! "In a time of universal deceit
telling the truth is a revolutionary act!" "The most successful war seldom pays for its losses." That is a quote by Thomas Jefferson. And he is right. The problem we have nowadays is that the men who decide to go to war are usually not the men who are sent to lead it. The men who die in war are usually the poor, the misguided or the unlucky. The poor are the ones who thought that the military was a good way to earn some money or a good way to get a college education. The misguided are the ones who joined believing they were fighting for our country and our way of life, and the unlucky are those who were either drafted or sent up through the National Guard because they thought they were only going to give up one weekend a month for some steady cash.
I realize that my point of view is likely not a popular one. Still, when was the last time that you heard a Rockefeller or a Buffett was killed in Iraq or Afghanistan? Or when was the last time you heard that a Bush or Obama were killed in action? Nowadays, our wars are about money and oil, pure and simple. If there is no clear reason to have a war somewhere, the powers that be invent an enemy to battle. False flag attacks are used to rile up the population and push the country into war. Nowadays, our politicians don't even have to have the guts to declare war. Instead we have police actions...or war on things. We have the war on terror, the war on drugs, the war on poverty. Instead of protecting our borders, which would go a long way towards stopping crime and terrorism in the U.S., our Department of Homeland Security makes a big show of harassing travelers at the airports. See how safe they make you as they grope the women and pat down men and x-ray your luggage while you are on your way to Disney Land? Whenever there is an attack on U.S. soil, we need to ask two questions. Who did it? And who benefits? Usually, you will find that the group that is accused of perpetrating the act isn't the group who will benefit from it. Nope, usually the group who is accused of doing the deed is in for a shit-storm of negative publicity and brutal deaths. Meanwhile, the victims of these acts of terror are usually low-level nobodies or low level military personnel. In the grand scheme of things, the people who die hold no value for the group accused of killing them. The dead do have great value for the powers that be in our country though. These people lose nothing important to them, yet they have everyday people who have died that they can use to whip the general population into a frenzy of blood lust against the accused. It's sad actually. The people who die are used to get the general population riled up against the people our government wants out of the way. Meanwhile, targets whose deaths would have benefited the group that is accused of doing the attack are left unscathed. An attack on the rich and powerful of our country or our political leaders would be a much better target for these terrorist organizations. Yet they never attack them. At the same time, an attack on these same people would get less of a response from our general population. Yet every time, these groups supposedly go after the target that will actually hurt their movement more than help it. Why? Go back and ask yourself, who benefits the most from one of these attacks? What does the attack achieve, and who actually benefits from it? Finally, ask "who gets hurt by the attack?" If you see that the group that is accused of doing the attack is more likely to be hurt by it than helped, then you are likely looking at a false flag attack...particularly if the people who actually benefit from the attack are the same people who would have likely made a better target for the accused group in the first place. Face it folks, wars are here not because you want them, or I want them, but because someone who can benefit from them, while being reasonably sure not to be pulled into them wants them. If we had a simple rule that our political "leaders" actually had to lead our troops in the war, regardless of their age or sex, we would have a whole lot less wars. The politicians don't mind punching the patriotism card and calling for wars or police actions because they know they are reasonably safe from ever having to go anywhere where they would be in danger. Since they and their families are not in danger, why not play the war card for some of their benefactors who would likely benefit from it? Meanwhile, the poor, misguided and unlucky will continue to die. In my mind, even one life is too much to lose in a phony war. If we have to go to war, then target the politicians who force us to go to war. Target the money that funds our enemies. Target the families of those we know are involved in the war. Right now, we don't do that because our leaders do not want that done to them! Go ahead, kill their military personnel, but leave their politicians and wealthy class alone! Otherwise, they might attack our wealthy as well...and that would not do. A wise man once asked "what if we had a war and nobody came?" I would truly love to find that out. But as long as our wealthy can trick our people to go die while doing their bidding, then we will never really find that out. |
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