Congratulations are in order for my daughter Madison. She fought in the USA Karate Grand Masters Tournament this weekend in Rindge, New Hampshire, and walked away as the 2015 Black Belt sparring champion for the co-ed youth Division (13 - 17 years old). She won her final match 5 points to 4 in a hard-fought battle to the finish. To win, she had to beat a seventeen year old boy who was undefeated for the entire tournament season. In fact, he had already beaten Maddie at least twice in other tournaments.
Needless to say, I am very proud of my daughter. Early in the match, her opponent jumped out to a two nothing lead. In black belt tournament sparring, a competitor can win a match by scoring three unanswered points, so the third clash was critical for Maddie. She quickly scored a point to her opponents stomach to force the match to a regulation five-point finish. Although I am happy that Maddie won, I am really proud of the guts and determination she showed. It takes a lot of guts to get up in front of people and perform. In this regard, all of the competitors on Sunday showed tremendous courage. Win, lose or draw, you are putting yourself up in front of a gym full of people and trying to do your best...knowing that you WILL be judged. Sometimes, the harshest critic isn't the three judges sitting in front of you... it is the little voice inside your head that tells you your best might not be good enough. No matter how tough your competition, the hardest fight can be with yourself. All of the competitors fought past their toughest critic on Sunday. I watched a number of matches on Sunday as a spectator. And I can tell you, I saw no losers there. Everyone who competed, no matter where they placed, were victors. They fought past the little voices in their heads that say I can't...and they proved that they could. At our USA Karate dojos we have five rules. They are:
This was particularly true after the sparring matches, particularly in the adult divisions where the exchanges were heated. Fierce competitors in the ring, once the final point was called in the match you would see them hug and congratulate each other...as it should be. I am very proud to be associated with USA Karate and the martial artists who train there. I am also happy and proud that my daughters are training at the dojo with me. My daughters both started training at the age of three. Originally, I took Maddie to classes so she could learn to protect herself. I soon came to realize that training in the martial arts is a way of life. So many of life's lessons can be learned at the dojo and carried over into our everyday lives. Effort, etiquette, sincerity, character and self control only touch on the surface of what my daughters learn at the dojo. Courage, self confidence, a healthy lifestyle, friendship, trust, the wisdom of peace over power... So many lessons, and yet I have barely touched the surface. My daughter's victory on Sunday was hard won and well earned. I am extremely happy for her and very proud of her. Yet every day that she goes to the dojo to train, she receives things that are more valuable than the trophy. The trophy symbolizes the hard work that she has done for eleven years to reach where she is today. The weekly visits to the dojo and the lessons she has been taught there are what put her in the position to win the trophy in the first place. In the end, karate is more about living than fighting. We initially go to the dojo to learn how to defend ourselves. We come out learning more about ourselves, and how to live a better, more meaningful life.
0 Comments
I like to ride my scooter. I usually take it out for a spin after dinner. My Daddy bought
it for me for Christmas last year. I love my Daddy! The scooter is fun to ride and I ride it inside. When I go outside, I ride my bike. Ashleigh "At some point, you just pull the bandaid off and it hurts, but then it's over and you're relieved."11/14/2015 This blog post is going to be short... I can tell you that already. I love this quote, however. I see it as a metaphor for life, in some ways. Not life; but the parts in it that we hesitate to do. I know that in everyone's life, there is a time that comes where a painful decision has to be made. When this time comes, we look for alternatives and ways around making the tough decision... but it ends up happening regardless of what we do.
This is kinda what happens when you go to rip a bandaid off, too. You hesitate because of the pain and you wish you didn't have to do it. Well... at least for me, anyway. But once it's off, it's over with. Pain is temporary. And I truly believe that that's the main point of this quote. Pain may seem unbearable as it happens, but in the end... it's only temporary. It goes away. And it's good to forget it. As I said in my last post, never forget what the pain TAUGHT you... and don't do what caused it again- but don't hold on to it. ~Maddie Once again, blogging late. I hear my grandmother on the stairs as I type this. She's coming down to tell me to get to bed. Most nights, I see this as a nuisance. I mean, I'm 14. I can stay up later than she can. It's not as though I have school tomorrow or anything, anyway. Most nights, I would yell, bitch, moan and carry on. But not tonight. Tonight... I can appreciate my grandma coming downstairs at 2:00 AM. Getting out of bed, disturbing HER sleep, just to make sure I get some. Every morning, she's up at the crack of dawn to cook breakfast for all of us, clean, and make sure a load of laundry (often karate clothing) gets put on and finished.
After my dad's influential post from earlier... I have realized the importance of time. Of not wasting all the time you're given pissed off at those around you... those who are your family, those you LIVE WITH and those who love you dearly. I don't take enough time during my day to appreciate my grandmother, and to thank her for all she has done and all she does do for our family. So I guess... let this post be that. Grandma, thank you... For the important lessons of kindness, compassion and religion For being there for late-night chats For the female advice For the financial stability you provide for the family For the cooking, cleaning and housework you take upon yourself to keep our house presentable For helping to give my sister a proper upbringing For leaving where you spent most of your life to come live in a completely different world here in NH For teaching me how to be a strong, independent woman with the lessons of cooking, cleaning, housework... and morals For the long drives For the days out and the time spent together For everything 💕 Thank you. ~Maddie "It is not what you look at that matters, it is what you see." That is a quote by Henry David Thoreau. I really don't know what to think of Thoreau. In some ways he was a gigantic phony, and in others, he made some good points. The quote above is one of his better points.
It really doesn't matter what you look at, it's what you see while you are looking. Two people can look at the same scene and see two opposite things. As I drive to karate, I can see Mt. Monadnock out in front of me while I also see the road in front of me. I choose to see the beauty in the mountain. The clouds passing over it, the sun glinting off its rocks. Someone else in the car, might see the mountain in the distance, but notice the dead squirrel lying at the side of the road, or the garbage that some slob carelessly threw out his window. At that moment, I might say "Isn't it beautiful!" (meaning the mountain view), while the person next to me looks at me as if I have lost my mind. Neither of us is wrong. We both have looked out the windshield in front of us, and we have both seen different things. It is not what we looked at...it is what we focused on. Over the past couple of years, I have tried to focus my sites on beauty, The natural beauty of the area I live in is breathtaking. That doesn't mean that I am blind to the problems of the world. It just means that at this point in my life, I would rather see the good than the bad. I am happy in my little piece of New Hampshire. At this point in my life, I will let others worry about the world. I will just try to improve the little part of my world where I can actually make a difference. I realize there are foreign wars in foreign lands. I also realize that some of the people in my country feel the need to go fight in these wars. They are not for me. I do not want my daughters to go fight in a foreign land... although I do want them to know how to fight. In case they ever have to protect themselves or their loved ones and property. There is an old poem from the 1930's that started with "What if they gave a war and nobody came?" Everyone likes to throw that line out as if it would mean the end of war. Obviously, they never read the poem. The poem actually says that if you don't fight for your side, then you are actually helping the other side. I think the whole poem is rubbish. Right in the first line, the author, Bertolt Brecht, says what if "THEY" gave a war. That is the problem right there. Most people have no clue as to who they are fighting for. Most just look and say, well if my country is fighting the war, then I am fighting for my country, But are they really? Who decided that our country should go to war? What influenced them? Who influenced them? I think those are very important questions. Particularly since Congress has not declared a war since World War II. How do you see the world? Do you want peace or war? Have we really denigrated that far? Have we really reached the point where war is peace, freedom is slavery and ignorance is strength? George Orwell must be rolling in his grave! "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." That is a quote by William Penn, and although it is very short...it is also very true! I guess you can say he wasted no time in writing that thought!
To give a good example of wanting time, yet wasting it, take this post for instance. I started writing it this morning around 10:00, but I quickly got busy and didn't get around to coming back to finish it until 10:20 this evening. Naturally, what I am writing now is different than what I would have written then. Unfortunately, I had a very full day in between. I completed a spreadsheet for a new company I am covering and wrote two thirds of the report for it. I will likely go back and finish the report once I finish this post. I also made changes to six reports that came back from editing and sent an additional two reports in to the editor. I have sent out five emails to various people solving near-term issues, and I have worked Ashleigh through three lessons for her home schooling. Maddie and I have had three discussions about her school work as well. At 3:45 I showered and got ready to help teach Ashleigh's karate class at 4:30. After the class I stopped at Mc Donald's for a cookie for Ashleigh and a coffee for me. I then drove home, dropped Ashleigh off, and picked up Maddie for our karate class at 6:00. After class, we stopped for a coffee (I know I am addicted!) and a soda for her. We came home, ate dinner, and I worked with Ashleigh on her blog post. I also downloaded a program I needed for work while I waited for Ashleigh to finish typing in her blog post. Once she was done, I went upstairs to spend a little bit of quality time with Ashleigh. Now, as I sit here, I am reflecting on all of the time I have wasted over the years doing things that were not productive. Arguments with my wife that I wish never happened. Hurt feelings about little inconsequential things. Time I spent angry or upset. I regret the moments I never got to spend with a friend or my wife or children because I chose to do other things. I think of the work I have yet to do on projects due next week and I think, in twenty years, no one will remember what I wrote, or for that matter whether I was right or wrong with my call. My report is good for about a week or two after it is published. After that, no one is likely to read it again, except for me, at some point in the future, when I am getting ready to write another report on the company in the future, and I then want to see how I phrased something in the past. Time is a man-made construct. What we did in the past can't be undone. There is no guarantee we will be around in the future to do anything. We make plans anyway just in case. What we have now is this moment. How are you going to spend this moment? Reading this blog post? I will tell you how I am going to spend my next moments...the best part of my day. I am going to go and hug my daughter Ashleigh good night. I will give her a kiss and tell her I love her. I will then give my Mom a kiss good night and tell her I love her. Finally, I will go in and give my daughter Maddie a hug and tell her that I love her as well. That is how I wish all of my moments to be. Letting those I love know that I love them. Instead, life happens and I do other things. Enough things so that most of my day is taken up with things other than me focused on the ones I love. Make time for yourself every day. Spend that time with the ones you love. If you must do other things. Do them efficiently so that you will actually get the time to spend with the ones that you love. As far as I know, we are only on this world for one go around. When you are on your death bed, are you going to regret that you didn't get one more report done? Or might you regret the day a long time ago, when you were alone on the beach with the one you loved, and instead of just enjoying the moment you were worried about writing a report that nobody now even remembers or ever gave two shits about? In the end, we all have responsibilities and work. We DO NOT have to worry about it though. We should get it done as quickly as we can while doing a good job with it and then move on to do other better things with the ones we love. I miss my wife, and while I regret the times we were together where we were arguing. If we could have seen the future, I think we would have spent those moments differently. I know I would have. The fact is that none of us can see the future. Because of this, I think it is best to act towards each other how we would if we could. I am not talking about neglecting your responsibilities. I am talking about the time it takes you to do your responsibilities, and then what you do with your time afterwards. One day will not be another day, for all of us. What do you hope that you will do on that day? Since there is no way to tell when that day will be for you or your loved ones, It's best to spend those precious moments between responsibilities as if there was no tomorrow...for one day, there won't be. Today I read a new book called "No David!" It is about a little boy named David. David wrote
on the wall and his mom yelled "no David!" He flooded his bathroom by leaving the water on while he was in the tub. He ran bare naked down the street, and his mom yelled" No David!" His Mom yelled at him a lot! At the end of the day she said Yes, David, "I love you." Ashleigh "Those awful things are survivable, because we are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be."11/12/2015 I have to say that this quote is quite true... to a certain degree. There are some things that happen that can't be survived- for example, being blown to smithereens. I don't care HOW much you believe you're indestructible, if a bomb goes off next to you... you will die. Believing that you can jump off of a 20-story building and not die won't change the fact that you will still inevitably die on impact. Belief (when it comes to physical injury, anyway) cannot change anything.
The same cannot be said for mentality. Your mental state, though more complicated than physicality... is a lot more controllable. Allow me to explain the twistedness behind this. With physical pain and suffering, the pain is pin-pointable (usually). You can identify it and solve it, HOWEVER, changing your belief or point of view can not fix it. With mental pain, you can never be sure EXACTLY what is causing it. Yes, it would be wonderful if we could... but we can't. However, we can change our way of looking at everything... from small little things to life itself; and change ourselves... even heal ourselves without knowing what the problem is. The mind itself is far too complicated to explain in one blog post... in an entire book, really. It's complicated and constantly changing, and everyone's is different whether you like it or not. I'll leave it at this- the worst things that can happen are regrets; and I live without them. They used to weigh me down and make me unhappy but I learned to look at life through a different lens and it helped dramatically. Look at life like this: We only get one chance to live. What happens in the past is the past... learn from it, but move on. You cannot change or edit the past in any way. No matter how much you want to. Or think about it. Or stress about it. IT IS. UNCHANGEABLE. Accept it. Forget it. Forgive. Move on. ~Maddie I finished another book today: My ''K'' Book The story is about Little "K" who has a box. He fills
his box with a Koala, some Kingbirds, a kettledrum and some kites. He also finds a kangaroo and some kittens. They ended up at kindergarten! Ashleigh "Suffering has a noble purpose: the evolution of consciousness, and the burning up of the ego." That is a quote by Eckhart Tolle. He is an author who wrote "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life's Purpose" to name two. I have never read any of his work, but the above quote really struck me because in a perverse way, it is true.
Believe me, this is not what I expected to write about this morning.The only reason I chose it is because I thought back to my wife's illness and death, and I thought of the way I think now, versus what I thought then, and I see that my state of consciousness is different and that what I care about has changed greatly. I do not mean to say that the suffering had a purpose. "Purpose" was likely a poor choice of word for that quote. The use of the word "noble" was also a little bit unsettling. But I do see that the suffering I went through watching my wife disintegrate, changed me in profound ways. To start, I no longer care about money at all. I have my house paid off. I make a good salary, and I am not very motivated to work longer hours to make more money. My daughters are the most important things in my life, and I just want to spend my time raising them and making sure they are ready for adulthood. I also noticed that my ego has just about dried up and disappeared. I really don't care what people think of me any more. I care about making sure my daughters know I love them and that I am always here for them. I dress the way I like, and I can care less about what others think about that. I have no urge to buy the latest car or watch the most popular TV shows. In my work, I write about what I think will drive the stock price higher or lower. I try to do my best for our subscribers...and that is what I am focused on. I try to keep my editing honest and focused. If someone makes a mistake, I tell them. I was never one to let things slide, but I am even less like that now. I no longer care about what others thik about me (at least I think I don't). Now, I do things for me and my daughters...and my Mom too. If I can help someone else out, I'll do that too, but I don't really feel compelled to do so. In the end, there is nothing "noble" about suffering. I watched my wife suffer. I suffered with her. As did my daughter. I doubt anyone who saw what happened with my wife would think there was anything noble about it. To what purpose did we suffer. In my mind, it was pointless. I would not wish what my wife went through on anyone. Nor would I wish what I went through, or my daughter went through on anyone. It was pointless. It was sad. And it never really goes away. Some people, like Eckhart Tolle, write things without ever really experiencing what they write about. He writes a sentence and puts in words that he thinks will make people sigh and feel better about themselves...and he fails miserably. Suffering is not a noble purpose. It is suffering. And while suffering will change the way you think, It takes a horrible mental and physical toll. If you really want an evolution in consciousness and a burning away of the ego, you need to think. Not about a bunch of sappy sentences written by a man who has likely never experienced the things that he is writing about... but about what is right and wrong in your own life. Think about how you can change what makes you unhappy. Think about what truly makes you happy. What changes can you make today that will help you to build happiness for your lifetime? It is this type of thinking that will lead to a burning away of your ego. When you live for yourself and stop caring what the neighbors will think. This will bring about a change in your consciousness. Be true to thine own heart. Well. It's 2:00 AM and I'm out of blog ideas. SO without further ado- here are things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I don't know... this is my blog post I guess. I'm probably going to be told it was shitty. But I don't really care. These are my thoughts. ~Maddie I have expressed my hatred for this subject before; but I feel the need to write about it again to stress its importance. So many people walk around feeling that they know everything there is to know about addiction. I've been told by people before "alcohol can't harm you unless you abuse it".... I disagree. An addiction is an addiction; whether you abuse it or not. As long as you're drinking regularly... you're addicted. It doesn't matter if you 'abuse' it or not. Abusing it just makes the case worse. IT. IS. STILL. ADDICTION.
I have also had friends say "you can't get addicted from one beer" and other dumb shit along those lines. Well guess what, genius? How do you think addictions start? Do you think you take one sip of beer and become a full-blown alcoholic? No. It takes time. The more you do it, the worse it gets. It doesn't start full-blown. Just like anything else, it has to grow... and to grow it has to be fed. This is the exact reason that I refuse to ever consume alcohol or drugs of any type. All it takes is one... and then I could potentially be ruining my life. Addiction runs in my family, particularly to drugs and alcohol. This means that I myself am susceptible to becoming easily addicted. I watched it ruin my mom's life and I've watched it ruin the lives of people in my family and I do not wish to follow in their footsteps... I know that it is possible to live a happy and healthy life WITHOUT alcohol or drugs being involved. I try to distance myself from those who include it in their lifestyle simply for my own health. I cannot stand to see people drink, even though I do unfortunately have to witness it from time to time and jokes about it making it seem like it's no big deal make me physically ill. Do not tell me addiction is nothing to worry about. Do not tell me to "just get over it". Do not tell me things could be worse. Do not tell me that it doesn't matter. Do not tell me that it is normal. And do NOT tell me that it is acceptable and a part of society today. That is bullshit. Addictions end lives. I know that too well. Don't be stupid. ~Maddie The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous. Hierarchical society is only possible on the basis of poverty and ignorance... The war is waged by the ruling group against its own subjects and and its object is not the victory versus Eurasia (ISIS) or East Asia (Al Qaeda), but to keep the very structure of society intact." That is quote by George Orwell written in 1949 in his masterpiece "1984" I added ISIS and Al Qaeda in there just to show how dead on his book was back then about what the future held. Think about it. Do you ever really think the government is going to give up on "the war on terror"? I mean it's perfect for them. Because they are not fighting an enemy from a particular country, they can bomb and kill people where ever they like! And the sad part is that they can do this, then mention that they killed so and so a leader of the bad guys. And we are all supposed to cheer...as if we knew exactly who they were talking about! Most people have no real clue as to who we are fighting...only that they are bad people and they want to kill us. How do we know this? Because the government tells us so, of course. And the sad part is that they are probably right. There are people out there who want to kill us. Just like there are people in our own country who want to make the Middle East into a gigantic parking lot. The poor and uneducated like to blame people in far off lands for their troubles. And our government wants to perpetuate this type of thinking. As I said in my last post, I think it is strange that "our enemies" choose targets that are poised to piss off our general population and bring the might of our military down on them. What did they really gain by killing a bunch of civilians that have nothing to do with them? Why did they not go after the heads of some of our major corporations that do the deals that change their way of life? Or our politicians who enact our foreign policy that seems to enrage them so much? Attacking those types of targets would likely not enrage our populous and have them signing up to go kill people in foreign lands. It might scare the pants off of the elites of our country and have them clamoring for war even more than they do now, but it's likely the regular Joe Six-pack out there wouldn't be going to the recruiting station to get revenge for some CEO. So who benefits from the targets that are chosen? Did Al Qaeda benefit after we sent thousands of troops over there to kill them? Or did our government and some large corporations benefit? Follow the money folks. Who benefited from the patriotic fervor that shot across the United States? Did the shareholders of the large aerospace and defense companies benefit? I think so. Did our military and political leaders benefit in anyway? I think the answer there might also be a big yes. Were all of these people involved? No. Did terrorists take down the twin towers? Yes. I am just not certain it was the terrorists we so quickly went out to kill. Think about our world people. Think about your cell phone and our computers. Think about our politicians and our media. Isn't it amazing that a man in 1949 could write a story about a twisted future and have it be uncannily accurate...even if he was off by a couple of decades! I'll leave off with one more George Orwell quote for you to think about. Leave a comment after you have thought about it and let me know what you think. "War is peace. Freedom is slavery Ignorance is strength" Okay, one more. I promise, no more George Orwell quotes or conspiracy-type posts...at least for a while anyway! "In a time of universal deceit
telling the truth is a revolutionary act!" Today I read My" D " Book. Little "D'' has a large box. She put her dolls in the box but they
fell out. She built them a dollhouse instead. She then made them desks and dressers, and then made dresses for them. She then found a dollar and a dime, and bought donuts for them. Ashleigh "The most successful war seldom pays for its losses." That is a quote by Thomas Jefferson. And he is right. The problem we have nowadays is that the men who decide to go to war are usually not the men who are sent to lead it. The men who die in war are usually the poor, the misguided or the unlucky. The poor are the ones who thought that the military was a good way to earn some money or a good way to get a college education. The misguided are the ones who joined believing they were fighting for our country and our way of life, and the unlucky are those who were either drafted or sent up through the National Guard because they thought they were only going to give up one weekend a month for some steady cash.
I realize that my point of view is likely not a popular one. Still, when was the last time that you heard a Rockefeller or a Buffett was killed in Iraq or Afghanistan? Or when was the last time you heard that a Bush or Obama were killed in action? Nowadays, our wars are about money and oil, pure and simple. If there is no clear reason to have a war somewhere, the powers that be invent an enemy to battle. False flag attacks are used to rile up the population and push the country into war. Nowadays, our politicians don't even have to have the guts to declare war. Instead we have police actions...or war on things. We have the war on terror, the war on drugs, the war on poverty. Instead of protecting our borders, which would go a long way towards stopping crime and terrorism in the U.S., our Department of Homeland Security makes a big show of harassing travelers at the airports. See how safe they make you as they grope the women and pat down men and x-ray your luggage while you are on your way to Disney Land? Whenever there is an attack on U.S. soil, we need to ask two questions. Who did it? And who benefits? Usually, you will find that the group that is accused of perpetrating the act isn't the group who will benefit from it. Nope, usually the group who is accused of doing the deed is in for a shit-storm of negative publicity and brutal deaths. Meanwhile, the victims of these acts of terror are usually low-level nobodies or low level military personnel. In the grand scheme of things, the people who die hold no value for the group accused of killing them. The dead do have great value for the powers that be in our country though. These people lose nothing important to them, yet they have everyday people who have died that they can use to whip the general population into a frenzy of blood lust against the accused. It's sad actually. The people who die are used to get the general population riled up against the people our government wants out of the way. Meanwhile, targets whose deaths would have benefited the group that is accused of doing the attack are left unscathed. An attack on the rich and powerful of our country or our political leaders would be a much better target for these terrorist organizations. Yet they never attack them. At the same time, an attack on these same people would get less of a response from our general population. Yet every time, these groups supposedly go after the target that will actually hurt their movement more than help it. Why? Go back and ask yourself, who benefits the most from one of these attacks? What does the attack achieve, and who actually benefits from it? Finally, ask "who gets hurt by the attack?" If you see that the group that is accused of doing the attack is more likely to be hurt by it than helped, then you are likely looking at a false flag attack...particularly if the people who actually benefit from the attack are the same people who would have likely made a better target for the accused group in the first place. Face it folks, wars are here not because you want them, or I want them, but because someone who can benefit from them, while being reasonably sure not to be pulled into them wants them. If we had a simple rule that our political "leaders" actually had to lead our troops in the war, regardless of their age or sex, we would have a whole lot less wars. The politicians don't mind punching the patriotism card and calling for wars or police actions because they know they are reasonably safe from ever having to go anywhere where they would be in danger. Since they and their families are not in danger, why not play the war card for some of their benefactors who would likely benefit from it? Meanwhile, the poor, misguided and unlucky will continue to die. In my mind, even one life is too much to lose in a phony war. If we have to go to war, then target the politicians who force us to go to war. Target the money that funds our enemies. Target the families of those we know are involved in the war. Right now, we don't do that because our leaders do not want that done to them! Go ahead, kill their military personnel, but leave their politicians and wealthy class alone! Otherwise, they might attack our wealthy as well...and that would not do. A wise man once asked "what if we had a war and nobody came?" I would truly love to find that out. But as long as our wealthy can trick our people to go die while doing their bidding, then we will never really find that out. I like rainbows. They are very pretty and colorful. I saw my first rainbow when I was four
years old. I saw it while I was in the Market Basket parking lot. Rainbows do not appear often. When they do, it is usually after a rain. Ashleigh I know, I know. It sounds stupid. Running a blog where you can write about ANYTHING sounds easy, correct? Easy enough when you ACTUALLY HAVE IDEAS. Most days, I get inspired by many things- my friends, family, nature, even quotes or funny things I see on the internet. Once I get inspired; there's no stopping me. I write and write until all the ideas, emotions and opinions that are in my head are out into a well-formed blog post.
The deepness that comes from me when I actually think and am inspired makes it easy to tell when I am feeling uninspired. When I am not properly inspired, my posts become short, don't have any structure and tend to end before it appears they should. However... when my brain runs out of ideas, I can't help it. The reason for posts dropping off so quickly is usually due to a distraction while WRITING the post- if I lose my train of thought due to something stupid (i.e. a new text, or my family talking to me) it is hard for me to regain it and the post often dead-ends. If I could give 5 good tips for running a blog; these would be it.
~Maddie "Appearances are often Deceiving." That's a quote from Aesop's fables. Although a lot of the fables seem like little nonsense stories, they all have a lesson to teach...if the reader is wise enough to see it! The stories are simple and are made to teach young children the ways of the world. Personally, I think these stories should be required reading...not in the schools, but at home.
So much of what a child learns is learned at home. Sure, school can fill a child's head with facts and figures, and likely teach them how to read and do math as well. But for a child to really learn, it needs to start in the home. Teaching a child to read, doesn't teach them to love to read. Teaching a child a fact, doesn't teach them the why of a matter. Manners, can only be taught at home. Out of all of the life lessons that Aesop tries to teach, I think that appearances are often deceiving is a very important one for children to learn at a young age. While a bear cub may look cuddly, its mother, which is surely nearby is deadly. Although a glowing ember may look pretty, it can still burn you. Bringing it to the next level, people can also be deceiving. It starts with the way people act towards each other, what they say versus what they do, and even to the point of how they dress , what they drive and even to what things they spend money on. Here is a good example: I often find it illuminating to see how a person treats their family in private. A person who cheats on their spouse draws a big red flag from me. I have met CEOs who were in the process of getting a divorce from their wife of many years who had been in affairs prior to filing for divorce. I always found it odd that analysts would trust these people to give them good information, when their own spouses could not trust them to be faithful. To me, a person's spouse should be able to trust them fully. If they can't, then I certainly see no reason to trust that person either. If the most important person in their life cannot trust them, then I believe that I certainly shouldn't either. Have you ever seen a woman (or a man) who dresses in a style that is much younger than their years? I call it mutton dressed as lamb! It's sad actually. They try so hard to cling to a sense of youth, that is no longer there. The deception is more on themselves than on others. Most people can tell when they are looking at an older woman or man. While makeup or a piece of clothing can take away a few years, it can't take away decades. It is those people who I am talking about here. It is okay to wear a style that is flattering to you and makes you look a little younger. It is not okay if you are wearing a style meant for a 20 year old, and you are fifty plus! If you are Cheryl Tiegs, you may be able to get away with it. If you are the average person on the street...I doubt it! People do this with the items they use as well. Ever see a woman with a Louis Vuitton bag paying for groceries with the equivalent of food stamps? Or a $75,000 automobile sitting in front of a $20,000 mobile home? These are other forms of deception. It is more likely that people will see the person out with their $75,000 automobile and think them wealthy, than back at their home where they will know the truth. It is certainly a form of deception. Same with the woman with the Louis Vuitton bag. Seeing her walking around at the mall and no one thinks twice. See them paying for food with food stamps and the facade falls apart. All people are deceptive (yes, including me). The why of the deception is important though. Try to look past the makeup and the consumer goods and see the person underneath. Ask questions. Be curious. Be observant. Usually, the deceptions are easy to spot if you look for them. It's late. I'm extremely tired; and still have a blog post after this one to do. What the hell I'm going to write about, I don't know. I just know I have to have it done before tomorrow. You see, I have plans for the weekend already set up. However; in order to carry through with those plans- I need to have all my work for the week done, including blog posts. Since the plans are starting tomorrow, I already have all of tomorrow's work done ahead of time. That is; except for the blog post.
Since I included a list of 5 things to run a successful blog in my last post, I'll continue my list trend in this post with 5 things I wind up doing when I get over-tired and can't fall asleep.
Well, that's all for this post! I hope some of these tricks work for you. ~Maddie "And so castles made of sand, slips into the sea...eventually." That is a quote from the incomparable Jimi Hendrix. If you don't know Jimi. you just haven't lived! His songs are haunting, and stay with you for decades. At least they did with me.
When I chose the above lyric to write about tonight, I was thinking of my wife, and how her life just slipped away like a sand castle built too close to the water at the shore. But that is not what that lyric is about. If you listen to the song (Here is a link), I think he is implying that all life is transitory and that all dreams come to an end, no matter how strong a foundation they may have. In fact, all three stanzas of the song speak of broken dreams. The first two are tragic, a love that falls apart leaving a man shattered in the street, and a young boys dream ending the night before its achievement due to his unexpected death. It's only in the final stanza where the girl's dream is broken, but the outcome is for the good. What good is a solid foundation for our hopes and dreams, if it can all be taken away from us at any moment? Jimi never touches on the why of the destroyed dreams...what caused the relationship to crumble or what caused the sneak attack that took the young boy's life. Instead, he just focuses on that it happened...and that it CAN happen to any of us. How would you respond if your entire life was suddenly turned upside down? What would you choose to protect? What would you let go? How would you decide? Or, here's another question: How would your family respond if you died suddenly? Would they survive? What would they do? Or not do? I can tell you what I'd do for the first part. You see, it happened to me. I let it all go and tried to protect my daughters as best as I could. I fought the waves crashing into the foundation of my castle and shored up the defenses. Between the crashing waves, I trained in karate to forget for an hour each day all the troubles that were plaguing me. I took every step I could to shelter my daughters from the storm, and I came within inches of going bankrupt. I fought the storm until all of my hope was lost... and it was at that point, while I kept pushing on, that light finally appeared at the end of the tunnel. I know now that our lives are like castles made of sand. No matter how strongly we think we are grounded to reality. It only takes an errant wave to start our castle crumbling. Things have gotten a bit better lately. The tide has receded a bit. But I don't fool myself. Nothing is permanent. Each day, I make sure to hug my daughters, and tell them how much I love them. I try to have a smile for everyone. A joke or two for some, and wise words for others. While I tend to work hard, I try to set aside time for what is really important too. It is hard though, work has always been an interesting and fun part of my life. Still, I love to spend time with my daughters, or a few minutes with my Mom to enjoy a cup of coffee. Lastly, I look for a little alone time so that I can catch up on reading and write these blog posts. I like to look at my woods and know that I can walk out my door and enjoy solitude within fifty feet of my house. I think back on holding my wife while she lie dying in my arms. I held her for six hours. Words failed me. I tried to let her know that I was there for her, that she wouldn't die alone, but the words, I felt, were hollow. I wasn't dying with her, and in the end, we all die alone whether someone is there or not. I hope that she knew she wasn't alone. I hope she knew I was there for her, and that since the time we had started dating I had always tried to be there for her. My heart breaks thinking about her..about my inability to help her. Sharon died two years ago, and yet her castle is still washing out to sea. Some of her things are still out in the garage. I have been trying to sell them and/or bring them to good will, but it takes time and energy. The emotional toll is high. At times I feel my castle walls start flowing out to sea as well, and I know that I have to step back again and focus on other things. There are a lot of good things. I just have to look. I can't just wash away. I need to be a strong foundation rock for my daughters' lives. Because castles made of sand, fall into the sea...eventually. |
Archives
September 2021
Categories
All
|